Healthy Aging Coaching for Gay Men

Licensed Clinical Social Workers like me are trained in how to help people at whatever age or phase of life they find themselves, but also with a consideration for how people develop throughout the lifespan. Topics such as developmental psychology, existential psychology, aging-in-culture, and life goals are all fair game for discussion and consideration. Erik Erikson's theory about the age-related phases of life teaches us that for every life phase, there is challenge we must work to overcome, and a reward that we can cherish.

The challenge at any age is to make the most of that phase of life (youth, early adulthood, middle age, senior) while at the same time mitigating the classic challenges that people tend to face at each stage. Younger men in Coaching tend to focus on honing dating skills with gay male peers, experimenting with and finding a preferred repertoire of sexual expression, putting their schooling to good use in early professional roles, and establishing financial management skills that set them up for the socio-economic status or social class lifestyle they find the most rewarding. For gay men, coaching can help them succeed at these skills, but also to shake off any negative impact that growing up with homophobia might have had.

Coaching for gay men at middle age is among the most commonly-requested coaching service, because, developmentally, we must navigate the transition from the young man we were, with the older man we are becoming, in approximately the "second half" life. Coaching for middle age can include how to preserve our health through identifying and implementing healthy self-care habits, how to refresh relationships that might have become complacent over time (especially sexually), how to cope with the very earliest notions of mortality, and how to set ourselves up financially for a comfortable/recreational retirement. Gay men at midlife tend to be more overall active, athletically and socially, than our straight counterparts. We might have a very wide age range of friends, but have being a part of the gay community in common. We might also come to terms with the dreams and goals we had as young men that are probably not going to happen in this lifetime, balanced with the self-determination and hope that we "aren't done yet" pursuing things that are important to us in our value system.

Healthy Aging Coaching helps you by considering the many variables of well-being and gives you support for making the most of your mental health, health, career, finances, social life, sex life, family life, community participation, cultural appreciation, and sense of history/identity that gives your life meaning, purpose, and joy for the long term.

In Healthy Aging Coaching, we look at what challenges you have right now, as well as ones that might be coming up in the foreseeable future. How are you feeling emotionally? Physically? Socially? Financially? Spiritually? How are you spending your resources of time, energy, and money? Are you spending those in the way that you really want? Do we need to work together to make changes so that all that makes more sense for you, in what’s important to you in this lifetime?

I’ve had the pleasure of seeing many members of my family live well beyond age 90. I’ve made a point to learn the lessons from them that contribute to well-being across middle age and beyond, and there are certain positive characteristics in common that I’ve noted for each of them. Exercise has been a prominent variable, as well as having supportive interpersonal relationships of all kinds. Having a sense of purpose beyond the self (such as charity work or activism) also seems to support long-term mental and physical health. In Coaching, we assess where you are with your involvement in the things that give life meaning, and we work to decrease unproductive, unrewarding ways we spend time, and increase our proximity to the people, situations, and resources where we feel the most comfortable, or even just the most fun.

With my background in social work and developmental/existential psychology, I help my clients in Healthy Aging Coaching to assess what’s working for them right now, and where they need support for making changing in their thinking, behavior, and interpersonal relationships to make life more fulfilling now, and for the indefinite future.

It is a myth that aging must always be associated with gradual decline. While many challenges can arise in life, from the medical, psychological, financial, social, familial, and relational, Healthy Aging Coaching can help you identify and implement the adaptive coping strategies and skills you need for making the most of every phase of life.