Relationships between gay men can be deeply fulfilling — and uniquely complex.

Most of the couples and polycules who find their way to me are not in crisis, and they’re not looking for therapy because something is “wrong” with one of them. They are looking for clarity, traction, and practical guidance around issues that keep repeating despite good intentions.

Relationship coaching offers a focused, non-pathologizing way to work on your relationship — without diagnosis, insurance requirements, or geographic restrictions.

This Is for You If…

Relationship coaching may be a good fit if you and your partner(s):

– Keep having the same arguments, even though you care about each other

– Want to improve communication and reduce conflict without months of therapy

– Are navigating differences in sex drive, sexual roles, or erotic interests

– Are negotiating monogamy, consensual non-monogamy, or polyamory

– Are dealing with an age gap, income differences, or unequal power dynamics

– Come from different cultures, languages, or national backgrounds

– Are co-parenting or managing household, financial, or domestic strain

– Want relationship support that actually understands gay male culture

You don’t need a diagnosis.
You don’t need to live in California.
You do need a willingness to look honestly at patterns and try new approaches.

What Changes When We Work Together

Relationship coaching is goal-directed and practical. Clients often report that the work helps them:

Interrupt unhelpful patterns

Identify communication and behavior cycles that undermine closeness — and replace them with alternatives that actually work.

Navigate sexual differences with less shame and more clarity
Address desire discrepancy, sexual roles, performance anxiety, kink interests, and evolving erotic needs in a grounded, sex-positive way.

Make clearer relationship decisions
Whether that means recommitting, renegotiating agreements, or deciding how to move forward with integrity and respect.

A Coaching Approach Grounded in Clinical Depth

I bring over three decades of experience working exclusively with gay men — including individuals, couples, and polycules — into my coaching work.

I am an AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, and while relationship coaching is not sex therapy, that training deeply informs how I help couples think about intimacy, desire, shame, communication, and consent. I draw on sex education principles and the Six Principles of Sexual Health to help partners make informed, values-based choices about their sexual and relational lives.

Because I’m also a licensed psychotherapist, I can recognize when attachment patterns, identity conflicts, internalized shame, or long-standing dynamics are influencing the present-day problem — and address them directly, without turning coaching into therapy.

Many clients find this saves time, reduces frustration, and leads to more durable change.

Gay Male Relationships Are Not “One Size Fits All”

Gay male relationships operate within their own psychological, cultural, sexual, and historical context.

Two men together means a doubling of male psychology, with no automatic offset from gendered socialization. Questions of masculinity, power, vulnerability, sexual expression, and identity often require more nuanced attention than standard relationship models provide.

I work with gay men across the full spectrum of:

– gender expression and masculinity

– long-term monogamy and CNM

– leather, kink, and alternative relationship cultures

– age-gap and intergenerational dynamics

– midlife and later-life relationship transitions

“Love is love” may sound affirming, but it often overlooks the very real differences in how gay male relationships function — and what they need in order to thrive.

How Relationship Coaching Works

Relationship coaching sessions are conducted via secure Zoom and are available to gay men, couples, and polycules worldwide. Coaching does not require a diagnosis and is not tied to insurance reimbursement.

Sessions are typically scheduled weekly or biweekly, depending on your goals and the intensity of the work. Most clients come to coaching with specific relationship challenges they want to address efficiently and thoughtfully.

My relationship coaching fee is $325 per session (50 minutes; longer sessions available)

For clients outside the United States, sessions are billed in U.S. dollars. Your bank or credit card provider will automatically apply the current exchange rate at the time of payment.

A brief (15 minutes), no-charge consultation is available to determine whether relationship coaching is a good fit before scheduling.

(Therapy is available separately to California residents when clinically appropriate)

We begin with a brief consultation to clarify your goals and confirm fit.

Who This Is — and Is Not — a Good Fit For

This work is a good fit if you:

– Want thoughtful challenge, not blame or quick fixes

– Are open to examining patterns — not just content

– Value depth and practical guidance

This  may not be a good fit if you:

– Are seeking emergency mental health care

– Want insurance-based or HMO services

– Are looking for reassurance without change

Ready to Work on Your Relationship?

If you’re tired of circling the same issues and want skilled, gay-affirming support to help your relationship evolve, relationship coaching may be the right next step.

Call or text (310) 339-5778 to schedule a no-charge 15-minute consultation, or click below to contact me.