After over 27 years of practice providing psychotherapy, including drug and alcohol counseling for gay men, I’ve come to have a pretty good idea about what you might be feeling when use of alcohol, cocaine, meth, or other drugs becomes problematic. I’ve helped dozens of guys overcome the burden of these habits, in ways that 12-Step meetings alone might not achieve. I offer a unique, empowering, and supportive approach that has been effective with many gay men, over many years, that has proven to be effective, even with guys who have been to “rehab” many times before.
You might feel bewildered about how you ever got to this place in life. Something that started out just being for fun has taken on a new, darker meaning. Alcohol that might have been fun at parties as a teenager or at clubs as a younger guy has grown beyond just a beverage to have fun with to something that you find yourself wanting or needing like it has a life of its own. Or another substance, like coke or crystal. At a certain point, sometimes without warning, you realize that it’s not fun anymore, but you also realize that “just stopping” isn’t as easy done as it is said or thought.
Or maybe it’s not alcohol or a substance, but it’s something to do, like sex. Where it’s not about enjoying your body, or another’s body, and just getting off as part of the humanity of being sexual, but it’s more like a chore, a compulsion, a “must”, like it was driving you instead of you driving it. But I do not subscribe to the idea of “sex addiction”, because it is NOT an official diagnosis, and the “treatment” of it is NOT evidence-based practice (based in science). Don’t fall for the charlatanism of “sex addiction treatment”; at GayTherapyLA, we only use legitimate techniques rooted in science, not judgment and moralism that demonizes men’s sexuality in general, and gay men’s sexuality in particular. We offer something different, and more effective. For more information on your concerns about sex and sexual habits, visit this page here on Sexual Self-Empowerment.
Maybe your concern is about gambling—at a horse track, or with the online gambling games, or poker/blackjack, with friends or at one of the casinos, in person or online. What started out as a thrilling, fun game to make some extra money has a grip on you that’s just not fun anymore.
Or maybe it’s a person who feels like an addiction. Not really someone you love, but someone you feel connected to in a bad way, that you want to let go of, but you can’t. It’s not because you don’t WANT to, it’s because you feel you CAN’T. You know there is a difference, and the difference scares you, or makes you feel weird, helpless, frustrated, or just angry with yourself.
I get it. This is what my clients over the past 27 years have described, over and over, and the work we do helps to change all that.
So what does therapy with me have to do with coping with all this?
It’s like this: I was trained as a therapist to work with people who have all of these kinds of life challenges, and more. I help you to feel, do, and be less of what you don’t want, and more of what you do want.
In therapy for drug, alcohol, and other challenges, here is what typically happens:
- We talk about what’s going on that bothers you. You give it a name, descriptions, feelings.
- We talk about the ways to break the persistent patterns and learn a new way to think, feel, act, and behave.
- We talk about the resources, inside of you and outside of you, or around you, that will help you make those changes, and make them “stick”.
- We bring you up from feeling bad, frustrated, bored, helpless, or even miserable, and help you to get RELIEF and LIBERATION.
- I share with you how my training in treating these kinds of problems are informed by evidence-based therapy and counseling techniques, and I share my observations of how I’ve helped hundreds of other people with these challenges overcome them successfully over many years doing this work. I use even my own personal experience or those of my friends and colleagues to illustrate things that helped them, that might also help you.
- We work, together, and over time (sometimes surprisingly quickly), we change your life for the better.
- And, we discuss the spectrum of options available to you, from abstinence on one end, to Harm Reduction on another. We go beyond what you would get in traditional 12-Step programs (which can be “too religious” for many gay men), and get more personalized, individualized, and customized help for your particular problems, in a positive, non-judgmental, supportive approach.
As a result, you feel freer, lighter, brighter, and more authentic. And you still get to have fun in your life…more fun than before, actually.
Sound good?
OK. I’m here when you need or want to see me about this.
If you’re not ready to come in and see me for this yet, try something faster. Explore the articles on this website by using the “Search” box on topics such a crystal, sex, cocaine, marijuana, relationships, finances, career or self-esteem. Sign up for my e-newsletter, or listen to my Podcasts on iTunes for various tips that you might find helpful for positive, successful living in general.
If you are ready to come in and talk about things, let me know. You can email me at ken@gaytherapyla.com, or you can text or call my cell at 310-339-5778. Either is fine. You can make an appointment then, or you can ask me some questions that might help you feel more ready to make an appointment.
It’s important to remember that there IS hope. You let me know what you want to do.
