HIV: Living Successfully Archives - Page 2 of 3

From the Los Angeles Times – Letters to the Editor:

September 17, 2005 by Ken

Dear Editor:

Regarding the LA Gay & Lesbian Center’s new “HIV is a Gay Disease – Own It, End It; social marketing and advertising campaign (“HIV Ads Embrace, and Stun, Audience” (Sharon Bernstein, September 30): As a gay man living with HIV since 1990, and since that time working in HIV mental health and social services in various community agencies (including the LA Gay & Lesbian Center), and as currently a psychotherapist in private practice specializing in serving gay men, including many living with HIV, I am deeply offended by this campaign. I find this campaign heinous as much for what it isn’t as for what it is. It is a throwback to the early days of the AIDS crisis when anti-gay forces in this country used AIDS as “justification” to hate and discriminate against the entire gay community, without realizing that AIDS is a disease caused by a virus that can strike anyone –

How to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 2 of 2)

June 19, 2019April 9, 2005 by Ken

In part I of this article, I described some of the very practical HIV transmission risk management issues involved in sex between HIV negative and positive guys. Other issues that often confront “magnetic” or “serodiscordant” couples include not fully understanding the burden that HIV is to your partner, and being only partially able to sympathize and “relate” with his various fears, frustrations, and symptoms.

How to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 1 of 2)

September 26, 2019April 5, 2005 by Ken

[NOTE: This article was written before PrEP. I’ve been a gay men’s specialist therapist and blogger for a VERY long time…]

You’re on your third date with someone who very well could be Mr. Right. You’re impressed that you got him to go to your favorite restaurant when you weren’t sure he would like it. You’re staring across the candle-lit table at those beautiful green eyes of his. He pauses and then takes a deep breath, a little sigh, and says, “So… I guess I should tell you that I’m HIV-positive.”

Educated… UB2

October 24, 2019March 15, 2005 by Ken

[NOTE: THIS BLOG ARTICLE IS FROM 2005, AND HAS MANY ANTIQUATED IDEAS IN IT, SUCH AS THE TIME BEFORE PREP, TASP, AND U=U. IF YOU DON’T KNOW THESE ACRONYM TERMS, PLEASE LOOK THEM UP BEFORE READING THIS ARTICLE. THIS ARTICLE IS INCLUDED HERE ONLY FOR AN HISTORICAL REFERENCE, AND IS ONLY PARTIALLY RELEVANT PRESENTLY. PART OF BEING EDUCATED…UB2 IS BEING UP TO DATE; THIS ARTICLE IS NOW OBSOLETE, EXCEPT IN ADDRESSING SOME REMAINING STIGMA IN SERO-DISCORDANT (POZ/NEG) DATING, A TOPIC I EXPLORE IN MORE DETAIL IN OTHER ARTICLES.]

Recently I was browsing through online personal ads in various online services for gay men. I was surprised at how often the term “UB2” came up. This is an appreviation for, “You be, too!”, in reference to a negative HIV status. It seems to say, in those succinct three characters,

Tsk, Tsk: People with HIV are being disempowered in ways they don’t even know

February 11, 2005 by Ken

After recently shifting my focus after 10 years of working with non-profit HIV and mental health social service organizations, I’ve been reflecting on both the positive – and negative – things that I witnessed. With the re-election of President Bush and a Republican majority in Congress, social services and other “liberal” institutions are certainly out of favor and have come under fire as a low priority for the American public and taxpayers.

The Gifts from Oz: Lessons for HIV

January 25, 2005 by Ken

The recent annual telecast by cable network TBS of the classic 1939 MGM film, “The Wizard of Oz” marks an annual ritual for me that dates back to when I was four. Watching this wonderful work of Hollywood magic each year gives me a chance to revisit its dazzling color, charm, and beauty like visiting an old friend. It also gives me a chance to contemplate its universal, timeless themes that coincide with the characters’ deepest desires:

A Second Bush Presidency in the Third Decade of HIV: Now What?

December 14, 2004 by Ken

What does the re-election of President George W. Bush mean for the mental health of people living with HIV/AIDS? That’s a complicated question.

The Demon Within: Resolving the Anger at the Person Who Infected You

November 13, 2004 by Ken

The release of the latest installment of “The Exorcist” film franchise, “Exorcist: The Beginning” is another variation of the now classic theme of exorcising an invasive supernatural demon who has taken possession of an innocent young person – in the original film, a young girl, in the latest installment, a young boy. What is it about this story that fascinates us so much that Hollywood re-tells it every few years? Perhaps it is the classic battle of good versus evil, or perhaps it resonates within us the age-old mythologic struggle for us to identify and drive out the most nefarious aspects of our own personality. For many, the struggle with their own personal “demon within” is that of anger.

Beyond Recovery

June 7, 2004 by Ken

Recently someone very close to me had surgery for a health issue not related to HIV. She had the surgery, went home, began to recover for a days, went to the mall, and then suddenly had a fever and post-operative infection and had to be re-admitted to the hospital for a long course of intravenous antibiotics. This kind of setback made me think about the roller-coaster ride that can be our health status, physically and emotionally, as people living with HIV.

It’s a Numbers Game

January 4, 2004 by Ken

I’ll be honest: I never did like math. I always thought numbers were generally a necessary evil, and much preferred words – that’s why I’m a therapist and a writer and not a mathematician or engineer. But for people living with HIV, it’s inevitable that we have to deal with numbers, and lots of them. … Read more