After more than three decades as a psychotherapist and coach specializing in gay men’s mental health, I have observed a recurring developmental transition among accomplished men in midlife and later life. Many reach their late fifties or early sixties having built careers, relationships, and financial stability, only to discover that the drive which once propelled … Read more
A man in his late forties sits across from me during an intake session. From the outside, his life looks solid. He has a successful career, a comfortable home, long-standing friendships, and the kind of stability that took years to build. Many people would assume he had “figured things out.” Yet the reason he scheduled … Read more
Even after we’ve built stable lives — careers, homes, long-term relationships — many gay men in mid-life still find ourselves opening Grindr, Scruff, or Recon. Sometimes it’s curiosity. Sometimes it’s libido. Sometimes it’s something harder to name. We might tell ourselves we’re “just seeing who’s around,” but underneath, the question lingers: Why am I still … Read more
Gay Widowers: Navigating Loss, Identity, and Rebirth By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Ken@GayTherapyLA.com | 310-339-5778 My name is Ken Howard, and I’ve been a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and coach for over 33 years. I’ve been living with HIV/AIDS myself for 35 years, and like so many gay men of my generation, … Read more
Radical Erotic Aging: Gay Men, Desire, and the Audacity to Stay Sexy By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Ken@GayTherapyLA.com | 310-339-5778 Let me tell you something I know in my bones: aging as a gay man in this culture is not for the faint of heart. After 33 years of working with thousands … Read more
White Lotus and Gay Men’s Fantasies: The Taboo That Teases in Pop Culture By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST The recent Season 3 of Max streaming service’s “The White Lotus,” set at a resort in Thailand, has stirred buzz not just for its opulent visuals, biting satire, and ensemble cast, including Parker Posey’s lorazepam-taking “Victora … Read more
The Healthcare Hustle: What Gay Men Need to Know Dealing with the healthcare system is rarely a walk in the park. But for gay men, the process comes with its own set of hurdles—clinical, financial, cultural, and emotional. Some of these barriers are subtle, some are glaring, and most are frustratingly persistent. As a longtime … Read more
Gay Relationships and Legal Planning: Emotional Aspects of Wills, Trusts, Power of Attorney Having been a specialist therapist for gay men for over 32 years in 2025, I’ve seen individuals and couples (and adult gay men in polyamory) in all kinds of life situations. Primarily, I’m a psychotherapist helping gay men with the usual … Read more
Gay Executive Coaching and The Dark Side of Ambition: Navigating Toxic Competition in the Workplace I primarily serve as a licensed psychotherapist in California who has specialized in working with gay men as individuals or in relationships for over 32 years now in 2025. I’m also a nationally Certified AASECT Sex Therapist, and retired graduate … Read more
Caring for Aging Parents: Tips for Adult Gay Men Over my long career (32 years) as a gay men’s specialist therapist, I’ve observed my own aging process, and certainly that of my grandparents, parents, and other relatives and friends. More recently, my sister and I have had adult caregiver roles remotely for our mother who … Read more
