What actually helps—beyond pills, injections, and panic Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, is a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist with over 30 years of experience working with gay men, couples, and polycules. He provides psychotherapy to California residents and coaching to gay men worldwide, focusing on mental health, sexual confidence, performance anxiety, aging, … Read more
Even after we’ve built stable lives — careers, homes, long-term relationships — many gay men in mid-life still find ourselves opening Grindr, Scruff, or Recon. Sometimes it’s curiosity. Sometimes it’s libido. Sometimes it’s something harder to name. We might tell ourselves we’re “just seeing who’s around,” but underneath, the question lingers: Why am I still … Read more
It’s one of those tongue-in-cheek jokes that circulates in gay male culture: “The Navy is the gayest branch of the military, the Air Force is for pretty boys, and all Marines are gay bottoms.” Of course, these aren’t literally true — they’re camp exaggerations, part humor and part fantasy. But like so many gay jokes, … Read more
By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST | GayTherapyLA.com / GayCoachingLA.com Context, Commerce, and Consequences The concept of “sex addiction” did not arise in a vacuum. In the early 1980s, amid the fear-and-moral-panic atmosphere of the AIDS crisis, sexual behavior (especially gay male sexuality) was widely framed as dangerous or even deadly. Into that climate, Patrick Carnes, … Read more
Radical Erotic Aging: Gay Men, Desire, and the Audacity to Stay Sexy By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Ken@GayTherapyLA.com | 310-339-5778 Let me tell you something I know in my bones: aging as a gay man in this culture is not for the faint of heart. After 33 years of working with thousands … Read more
Flash vs. Substance: Pop Psychology Gurus vs. Real Clinicians By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Ken@GayTherapyLA.com | 310-339-5778 ________________________________________ Why Flashy Doesn’t Mean Fact-Based In today’s media-driven culture, the louder someone talks about psychology, the more we’re expected to believe they know what they’re talking about. Scroll through social media, watch a TED … Read more
White Lotus and Gay Men’s Fantasies: The Taboo That Teases in Pop Culture By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST The recent Season 3 of Max streaming service’s “The White Lotus,” set at a resort in Thailand, has stirred buzz not just for its opulent visuals, biting satire, and ensemble cast, including Parker Posey’s lorazepam-taking “Victora … Read more
The Healthcare Hustle: What Gay Men Need to Know Dealing with the healthcare system is rarely a walk in the park. But for gay men, the process comes with its own set of hurdles—clinical, financial, cultural, and emotional. Some of these barriers are subtle, some are glaring, and most are frustratingly persistent. As a longtime … Read more
Netflix’s “Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story” – Insights from a Gay Therapist and Coach on Healing for Gay Male Survivors of Sexual Trauma As a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, I have spent 32 years working with male survivors of sexual trauma, including those who have faced incest … Read more
Gay Men Open Relationship and Consensual Non-Monogamy Ground Rules: Who What When Where Why? Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is often more common in gay male relationships than discussed, yet it still carries complexities and challenges. As a psychotherapist with 32 years of experience specializing in working with gay men (as individuals, couples, or polycules), I’ve observed … Read more
