In the timeless tale of Cinderella, a neglected girl is transformed—through magic, resilience, and the help of a mentor—into someone who is seen, valued, and desired. While this fairy tale has enchanted generations, its deeper themes resonate powerfully with many gay men: those whose early lives were marked by invisibility, shame, or bullying, and a … Read more
Radical Erotic Aging: Gay Men, Desire, and the Audacity to Stay Sexy By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Ken@GayTherapyLA.com | 310-339-5778 Let me tell you something I know in my bones: aging as a gay man in this culture is not for the faint of heart. After 33 years of working with thousands … Read more
When You Know You’re Ugly: A Gay Man’s Guide to Coping with Physical Unattractiveness Facing the Reality of Physical Attractiveness As gay men, we are seemingly inundated with ideas, images, and pressures about appearance. The photos that are used in gay apps like Grindr, Scruff, Tindr, and others. The images on the covers … Read more
Gay Men and Food: A Dynamic Relationship at Any Age As of the time of this writing, it’s the holiday season of 2021. And what marks the holiday season more than seasonal foods? Everyone, gay men included, tend to go off their diets and indulge in holiday treats like cookies, candies, baked goods, and winter … Read more
Gay Men and Gym Crushes: Cherish Your Romantic Notions Recently, a friend of mine at lunch mentioned that someone at a nearby table looked like his “gym crush.” It turned out not to be, and my friend told another story, but his use of the terminology stayed with me, and got me thinking. That term … Read more
I’ve been enjoying my recent completion of the Certified Sex Therapist credential from AASECT, the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. I achieved this not only from my long experience as a gay men’s specialist therapist (29 years in 2021), but also through completing an 18-month continuing education program for therapists provided by … Read more
Gay Men and Appearance Privilege: What It Is, What To Do About It Imitation and Flattery? Recently, I discovered that a gay men’s specialist therapist in Chicago had posted a string of postings in recent months on Facebook that directly coincided with a string of topics of several of my blog articles and podcast episodes … Read more
How Gay Men Improve Sexual Functioning: The Mind/Body Connection Sexual Satisfaction as Personal Right As I’ve learned over 25 years providing gay-affirmative therapy and coaching for gay men and gay male couples all over the world, a robust mental health is made up of certain core components. A part of good mental health is … Read more
Part I: Emotionally and Physically In this three-part series of blog articles, I’d like to share some of the ways that I’ve seen my gay male clients benefit from therapy in a way that most people probably don’t think about: how therapy helps with a healthy aging. As a specialist in LGBT affirmative therapy, and … Read more
It’s not true that all gay men spend an inordinate amount of time in the gym, but it sure seems like it’s all of them. For most gay men, it’s just routine. There is something about gay male culture world-wide that seems to support the “gym lifestyle”, whether it’s for health reasons or for the … Read more
