Most gay men have heard of “fight or flight.” Some know about “freeze.” But there’s a fourth trauma response that deserves more attention in gay men’s mental health — the fawn response. If you’ve ever found yourself overly accommodating, chronically apologizing, or bending over backwards not to upset anyone — especially men you’re dating, partnered … Read more
“Because happy is what happens when all your dreams come true…” That line from Wicked’s Act II number, “Thank Goodness,” always carries an irony that cuts deep: happiness is supposed to arrive when dreams are fulfilled — but what happens when the world changes so much that the dreams themselves are denied? As the upcoming … Read more
I’ve been a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist for over 33 years in 2025, and I identify as a psychotherapist, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, life/career/relationship Coach, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, activist, author, and educator. But in all those, I’ve been a Psychiatric Social Worker, and that means my training and experience have given me the credentials … Read more
Gay Widowers: Navigating Loss, Identity, and Rebirth By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Ken@GayTherapyLA.com | 310-339-5778 My name is Ken Howard, and I’ve been a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and coach for over 33 years. I’ve been living with HIV/AIDS myself for 35 years, and like so many gay men of my generation, … Read more
Gay Men and Coping with the Forms of Betrayal By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Call/Text: 310-339-5778 | Email: Ken@GayTherapyLA.com Introduction: What Is Betrayal? Betrayal is the violation of a person’s trust, often involving the breaking of implicit or explicit expectations in a close relationship. Psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., defines betrayal as … Read more
Gay Executive Coaching and The Dark Side of Ambition: Navigating Toxic Competition in the Workplace I primarily serve as a licensed psychotherapist in California who has specialized in working with gay men as individuals or in relationships for over 32 years now in 2025. I’m also a nationally Certified AASECT Sex Therapist, and retired graduate … Read more
Gay Men and Trump 2.0: Coping with Anxiety In December, 2004, at the time of the re-election of President George W. Bush (the son of President George Bush, President from 1988-1992), I wrote an article for A&U, “America’s AIDS Magazine,” that was part of my monthly column for that publication for several years, advocating for … Read more
COVID-19 As a Traumatic Experience At the time of this writing in early June, 2021, my local community of Los Angeles/West Hollywood (California) is gearing up for the broader grand re-opening of California by order of Governor Gavin Newsom on June 15th (according to a Los Angeles Times article of May 21, 2021, here). The new guidelines basically … Read more
With a few weeks into the new year, I’ve been talking with a lot of my clients about their goals for 2021. I have often done this with clients at the start of a new year throughout my long career (29 years) as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach, but this year is so very … Read more
Gay Men, COVID-19, and Avoiding the Pitfalls: Substances, Lethargy, and Despair Identifying and Coping with the “Pitfalls” in COVID-19 As I continue online therapy and coaching sessions in my practice at GayTherapyLA as a gay men’s specialist for individuals and couples (over 28 years in 2020), I’m seeing the effects of COVID-19 on guys … Read more
