Why It Feels Harder Than Ever—and What Actually Works This article comes from my work with gay men around confidence, relationships, and sexual self-understanding. If you want to see what working with me looks like: Individual Therapy (CA) | Coaching (Worldwide) Many gay men don’t talk about this directly. Still, they feel it. You may … Read more
As a long-term specialist in gay men’s mental health—now in my 34th year of practice as a psychotherapist and coach—I’ve worked with individuals, couples, and more complex relationship structures across a wide range of life circumstances. Over time, one pattern has emerged more often than expected: the unique challenges faced by gay male couples who … Read more
I’ve spent more than 30 years helping gay men navigate breakups, divorces, and relationship endings—not just as a psychotherapist and sex therapist, but as someone who has lived through loss myself. Breakups don’t simply end relationships; they destabilize identity, emotional regulation, daily routines, and future orientation. This article is written for the immediate aftermath—when your … Read more
Even after we’ve built stable lives — careers, homes, long-term relationships — many gay men in mid-life still find ourselves opening Grindr, Scruff, or Recon. Sometimes it’s curiosity. Sometimes it’s libido. Sometimes it’s something harder to name. We might tell ourselves we’re “just seeing who’s around,” but underneath, the question lingers: Why am I still … Read more
Every autumn, the Jewish calendar ushers in Yom Kippur, the “Day of Atonement.” It is traditionally a solemn day of fasting, prayer, confession, and renewal. For observant Jews, it is the holiest day of the year. For those of us outside Judaism, though, there are still universal lessons here worth pausing to consider. I’ve written … Read more
Gay Widowers: Navigating Loss, Identity, and Rebirth By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Ken@GayTherapyLA.com | 310-339-5778 My name is Ken Howard, and I’ve been a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and coach for over 33 years. I’ve been living with HIV/AIDS myself for 35 years, and like so many gay men of my generation, … Read more
Gay Men and Coping with the Forms of Betrayal By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Call/Text: 310-339-5778 | Email: Ken@GayTherapyLA.com Introduction: What Is Betrayal? Betrayal is the violation of a person’s trust, often involving the breaking of implicit or explicit expectations in a close relationship. Psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., defines betrayal as … Read more
Gay Relationships and Legal Planning: Emotional Aspects of Wills, Trusts, Power of Attorney Having been a specialist therapist for gay men for over 32 years in 2025, I’ve seen individuals and couples (and adult gay men in polyamory) in all kinds of life situations. Primarily, I’m a psychotherapist helping gay men with the usual … Read more
Gay Men Open Relationship and Consensual Non-Monogamy Ground Rules: Who What When Where Why? Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is often more common in gay male relationships than discussed, yet it still carries complexities and challenges. As a psychotherapist with 32 years of experience specializing in working with gay men (as individuals, couples, or polycules), I’ve observed … Read more
Gay Men’s Relationships: When You Want Kids and He Doesn’t I’m the founder of GayTherapyLA.com, which I’ve had for 26 years in private practice, but 32 years overall as a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, and also an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Life/Career/Executive/Relationship Coach at GayCoachingLA.com, and, more recently, author of some online courses for … Read more
