Have you ever opened Instagram and suddenly realized everyone else seems to have been invited? Maybe it’s a quiet Saturday evening. You’re finally relaxing after a long week, scrolling without much purpose. Then you see it: six people you know are having brunch in Palm Springs, a group from your gym is celebrating someone’s birthday … Read more
Even after we’ve built stable lives — careers, homes, long-term relationships — many gay men in mid-life still find ourselves opening Grindr, Scruff, or Recon. Sometimes it’s curiosity. Sometimes it’s libido. Sometimes it’s something harder to name. We might tell ourselves we’re “just seeing who’s around,” but underneath, the question lingers: Why am I still … Read more
I’ve been a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist for over 33 years in 2025, and I identify as a psychotherapist, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, life/career/relationship Coach, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, activist, author, and educator. But in all those, I’ve been a Psychiatric Social Worker, and that means my training and experience have given me the credentials … Read more
I love Halloween. Maybe it’s because of the theatricality of it, with costumes and props, or maybe it’s because of my addiction to chocolate. Author Peg Aloi, an expert on Pagan holidays, explains that Halloween—or Samhain, as it’s sometimes called, meaning “summer’s end”—is observed as a celebration of the last harvest of the year before … Read more
We’ve all heard the phrase “post-nut clarity” — that shift in perception some men describe right after orgasm, where what felt intensely appealing just moments before suddenly seems different, even irrelevant. It’s been a popular meme, but it actually points to some very real psychological and physiological processes that gay men, in particular, can recognize … Read more
By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST | GayTherapyLA.com / GayCoachingLA.com Context, Commerce, and Consequences The concept of “sex addiction” did not arise in a vacuum. In the early 1980s, amid the fear-and-moral-panic atmosphere of the AIDS crisis, sexual behavior (especially gay male sexuality) was widely framed as dangerous or even deadly. Into that climate, Patrick Carnes, … Read more
Gay Men and How to Reach Your Full Potential From my perspective as a long term (31 years in 2023) gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and life/career/relationship coach, I often focus on helping gay men reach your full potential. Another way of saying this, which has been a long-term theme of my practice, is to help … Read more
Gay Men, Activism, and Social Conscience While being a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, sex therapist, and life/career/executive coach for over 30 years in 2023, I’ve also strongly identified within my graduate training and licensure/professional discipline category of being a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in the state of California. California has several licenses that allow … Read more
As a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist for over 30 years, life/career/relationship/executive coach, and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, I hear about a lot of situations gay men face in the course of a week of client sessions in my full-time psychotherapy and coaching practice with gay men mostly in California but also all over the U.S. … Read more
Gay Men and the Function/Purpose of Casual Hookups Casual Sex Overview If you pay attention to how gay men have been talked about, in the past and today, there are many “criticisms” that we get; some are kind of true (being capable of being superficial), or, revoltingly, from the current crop of vile Republicans (Marjorie … Read more
