I’ve spent more than 30 years helping gay men navigate breakups, divorces, and relationship endings—not just as a psychotherapist and sex therapist, but as someone who has lived through loss myself. Breakups don’t simply end relationships; they destabilize identity, emotional regulation, daily routines, and future orientation. This article is written for the immediate aftermath—when your … Read more
Most gay men have heard of “fight or flight.” Some know about “freeze.” But there’s a fourth trauma response that deserves more attention in gay men’s mental health — the fawn response. If you’ve ever found yourself overly accommodating, chronically apologizing, or bending over backwards not to upset anyone — especially men you’re dating, partnered … Read more
I’ve been a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist for over 33 years in 2025, and I identify as a psychotherapist, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, life/career/relationship Coach, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, activist, author, and educator. But in all those, I’ve been a Psychiatric Social Worker, and that means my training and experience have given me the credentials … Read more
Gay Widowers: Navigating Loss, Identity, and Rebirth By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Ken@GayTherapyLA.com | 310-339-5778 My name is Ken Howard, and I’ve been a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and coach for over 33 years. I’ve been living with HIV/AIDS myself for 35 years, and like so many gay men of my generation, … Read more
Mental Health Aspects of Sexual Health for Gay Men As a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and coach for now 30 years (in 2022), and as a Certified Psychiatric Social Worker, and now AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, perhaps it follows that I might be interested in sharing some thoughts about the intersection of psychiatric disorders, physical … Read more
Gay Men and Depression: Four Strategies for Help As a specialist in therapy for gay men for over 26 years, by far the most common problem that I see in my office is about depression. I always joke that if the Eskimos supposedly have 23 different words for snow (wet, dry, new, old), we need … Read more
Gay Men with Depression: Overcoming Fears of Psychiatric Medications and Making Them Work for You In my psychotherapy practice as a long-time (25 years) specialist in therapy for gay men and gay male couples, I’ve been concerned lately especially about two clients who are gay men with depression (another article on depression is here), with … Read more
Depression is the number one mental health problem in the world and gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals are up to twice as likely to suffer from depression as heterosexuals – not because they inferior human beings (contrary to some religious teachings and other oppression), but because the cumulative stress of heterosexism and homophobia in society, … Read more
As a gay therapist in Los Angeles for the past 27 years, I have found that Depression is the single most-common diagnosis and presenting problem. This is true for most therapists, from what I hear from colleagues and from my students that I teach in the advanced psychotherapy course at USC. According to many studies, … Read more
How to Accomplish Your Goals: A Guide for Gay Men When approaching a goal or important task ahead of you, especially those that you feel excited about, please try to avoid allowing the thought in your mind, “I don’t think I can do this.” If it’s important to you, use Thought Stopping as a technique … Read more
