After more than three decades as a psychotherapist and coach specializing in gay men’s mental health, I have observed a recurring developmental transition among accomplished men in midlife and later life. Many reach their late fifties or early sixties having built careers, relationships, and financial stability, only to discover that the drive which once propelled … Read more
For so many gay men, compulsive phone use has become a quiet, constant companion. Scrolling, checking, refreshing, comparing — not just on social media but on dating apps, hookup apps, fitness feeds, curated vacation pages, and lifestyle reels. It’s nearly universal, understandable, and expected. And yet, behind the glow of the screen, something deeper is being managed: … Read more
As a psychotherapist and coach specializing in gay men for over 33 years — working with literally thousands of clients — I’ve had a unique vantage point on the patterns that emerge in our lives and our community. Again and again, I’ve noticed that many of our struggles cluster around what I call “toxic gay … Read more
Gay Men and Overcoming Our Unconscious Barriers to Success By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST In so much of my work with clients, we are battling a whole list of what I call “unconscious barriers” to our own progress and success. We have inner conflicts that make us take two steps forward but then one step … Read more
Gay Men and Understanding Personality: The OCEAN Model By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST – Founder, GayTherapyLA.com Understanding what makes us who we are can deepen our relationships and improve how we connect with others. For gay men, this kind of self-knowledge can be especially powerful. It helps us navigate romantic relationships, family ties, friendships, and … Read more
The Success Principles for Gay Men: What We Can Learn from Jack Canfield By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST As a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, certified sex therapist, and coach for over three decades, I’ve worked with thousands of gay men on building not just healthier relationships and sex lives, but stronger careers, relationships, financial security, … Read more
Gay Men and Gym Crushes: Cherish Your Romantic Notions Recently, a friend of mine at lunch mentioned that someone at a nearby table looked like his “gym crush.” It turned out not to be, and my friend told another story, but his use of the terminology stayed with me, and got me thinking. That term … Read more
Gay Men and Depression: Four Strategies for Help As a specialist in therapy for gay men for over 26 years, by far the most common problem that I see in my office is about depression. I always joke that if the Eskimos supposedly have 23 different words for snow (wet, dry, new, old), we need … Read more
Gay Men’s Skills of Living Series: #2 – Making the Most of Your Past, Present, and Future This is the second of a ten-part series that I call “The Gay Men’s Skills of Living Series”, based on what my clients at GayTherapyLA (my therapy and coaching practice that specializes in gay men, for the past … Read more
How Gay Men Can Face Any Problem: Developing Resilience – Part 2: Techniques In Part 1 of this article, I shared some of the traits of resilient people that have been described by Susan Dunn, in her “Top 10 Attributes of Resilient People”, among others. Resilience is the ability to adapt and grow from adversity, … Read more
