Gay Men and Self-Abandonment: The Quiet Ways We Leave Ourselves Behind

Gay man reflecting on self-abandonment and personal boundaries

Gay Men and Self-Abandonment: The Quiet Ways We Leave Ourselves Behind For more than three decades as a psychotherapist working primarily with gay men, I’ve watched many clients arrive in therapy believing their core problem was anxiety, loneliness, dating frustration, relationship conflict, burnout, low self-esteem, or depression. Often, those struggles are real. However, underneath them, … Read more

Gay Men and the Fawn Response: When People-Pleasing Is Really Self-Protection

A closeup shot of a young deer

Most gay men have heard of “fight or flight.” Some know about “freeze.” But there’s a fourth trauma response that deserves more attention in gay men’s mental health — the fawn response. If you’ve ever found yourself overly accommodating, chronically apologizing, or bending over backwards not to upset anyone — especially men you’re dating, partnered … Read more