Why It Feels Harder Than Ever—and What Actually Works This article comes from my work with gay men around confidence, relationships, and sexual self-understanding. If you want to see what working with me looks like: Individual Therapy (CA) | Coaching (Worldwide) Many gay men don’t talk about this directly. Still, they feel it. You may … Read more
For over 30 years, I’ve worked almost exclusively with gay men as a psychotherapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, as well as a life, career, and executive coach. Over time, I’ve helped clients navigate not only relationships and identity, but also high-stakes professional situations where reputation, authority, and livelihood are on the line. In recent … Read more
Living Inside a Prolonged Stress Climate Many of the gay male therapy or coaching clients I speak with lately struggle to name exactly what feels wrong these days, but something does. They are not reacting to a single crisis, nor are they necessarily experiencing acute panic or depression. Instead, there is a more pervasive sense … Read more
Most gay men have heard of “fight or flight.” Some know about “freeze.” But there’s a fourth trauma response that deserves more attention in gay men’s mental health — the fawn response. If you’ve ever found yourself overly accommodating, chronically apologizing, or bending over backwards not to upset anyone — especially men you’re dating, partnered … Read more
“Because happy is what happens when all your dreams come true…” That line from Wicked’s Act II number, “Thank Goodness,” always carries an irony that cuts deep: happiness is supposed to arrive when dreams are fulfilled — but what happens when the world changes so much that the dreams themselves are denied? As the upcoming … Read more
I’ve been a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist for over 33 years in 2025, and I identify as a psychotherapist, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, life/career/relationship Coach, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, activist, author, and educator. But in all those, I’ve been a Psychiatric Social Worker, and that means my training and experience have given me the credentials … Read more
Gay Men and Coping with the Forms of Betrayal By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Call/Text: 310-339-5778 | Email: Ken@GayTherapyLA.com Introduction: What Is Betrayal? Betrayal is the violation of a person’s trust, often involving the breaking of implicit or explicit expectations in a close relationship. Psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., defines betrayal as … Read more
COVID-19 As a Traumatic Experience At the time of this writing in early June, 2021, my local community of Los Angeles/West Hollywood (California) is gearing up for the broader grand re-opening of California by order of Governor Gavin Newsom on June 15th (according to a Los Angeles Times article of May 21, 2021, here). The new guidelines basically … Read more
Gay Men Coping with Stress: Start at the Source At the time of this writing (June, 2020), we, as a country, in the United States, and all of us in the world are experiencing unprecedented times, and not in a good way. Since into the first quarter of 2020 (some would say even before), our … Read more
Gay Men’s Sexuality: Three Types of Erectile Dysfunction and Their Interventions [Warning: This is an adult clinical discussion of sex therapy topics provided by a licensed clinical social worker and trained sex therapist. It is not restricted adult content, nor is it literary erotica or “pornography,” but reader discretion is advised if you are sensitive … Read more
