In the sport of hockey, somehow it became acceptable — even preferred — for its players to not only skate around on ice and toss a puck around, soccer-style, with sticks, but also occasionally to break out in fights. You always know when one is about to happen. Somebody does or says something to piss … Read more
[This is from 2014, so some of the references are outdated like the evolution of marriage equality laws. We’ve come a long way!] What an amazing turn of events for marriage equality in a relatively short time this year! For a terribly long time, gay couples have pleaded, waited, marched, lobbied, and battled for the … Read more
As gay men, we all feel it from time to time. We go to a theme park and see the seemingly benevolent young father (OK, a “DILF“). We see the interaction between father and son, or father and daughter, and there is a pang in your heart in recognizing the fact that he has something … Read more
One of the most common topics I help guys with in my psychotherapy and coaching practice (now 22 years) is about improving self-esteem. It makes sense; gay men get a lot of “negative messages” growing up and, cumulatively, they take their toll. Usually in addition to whatever else we are working on (career, finances, relationship … Read more
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and its less-severe related diagnosis, Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) can be the topic of jokes and even comedy movies. But living with the actual disorder is no joke. OCD is quite burdensome to live with, and it can make the partners of people living with OCD stressed-out, too. People living with OCD … Read more
Is that you, Jack, your eyes bagged, clothes wrinkled, and face falling into the keyboard over one more Excel spreadsheet or Powerpoint presentation? Hey, we live in America, Puritan work ethic and all that, with fewer vacation days per year than most industrialized countries. And everyone who’s heard the story of “the ant and the … Read more
I’ve been providing relationship coaching and couples therapy for gay men since 1992, and over that time, I’ve noticed some patterns that will help, and hurt, a relationship. Lots of things help, but one that thing than can hurt is complacency. Straight people know all about this; it’s the whole “married-now-let-yourself-go” syndrome — which can … Read more
During my 22 years of clinical practice providing psychotherapy, mostly to both gay (www.GayTherapyLA.com) and straight (www.MensLifeSkillsCenter.com) men, I have helped clients with the well-known challenges that people seek therapy for: depression, anxiety, relationship concerns, career concerns, and loss. The general public knows all of these. But there are more subtle situations and reasons for … Read more
One of the positive stereotypes that are assigned to gay men (as welcome respite to so many negative ones) is that we have good taste. Our sense of our clothes, grooming, cars, and homes are respected to be stylish, up-to-date, and of good design and quality. But is this so for everyone? Recently I … Read more
As I think back on the past 24 years (by 2014) of providing couples counseling for gay male relationships, I sometimes get asked what the differences are that I see (in general) in gay male relationships that are (in general) different from straight relationships. In no particular order, below, are some of my thoughts. I … Read more
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is a life/career/executive/relationship coach who has specialized in gay men (individuals and gay male couples) and LGBT+ for over 30 years.
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