Coping with Sudden Crisis:  A Personal Story

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Coping with Sudden Crisis:  A Personal Story Followers of my blog articles and podcast episodes are familiar with my work as a long-term (29 years in 2021) gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, Certified Sex Therapist, and life/career coach.  I address many topics about the mental health and well-being of gay men, but I haven’t said that … Read more

Gay Men Who Live Together Too Early

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Gay Men Who Live Together Too Early Over my long career (29 years in 2021) of providing couples therapy for gay men in California, as well as relationship coaching to guys all over the United States and other countries of the world, I’ve observed the same topics or challenges (“presenting issues” we therapists say) keep … Read more

Gay Men and Consensual Non-Monogamy Early in Relationships

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Gay Men and Consensual Non-Monogamy Early in Relationships The curriculum that trains AASECT Certified Sex Therapists like myself (which includes hundreds of hours of instruction, four in-person weekend seminars, 50 hours of clinical supervision in not less than 18 months of experience, and continuing education weekend seminar updates each year), frequently addresses the “style” of … Read more

Gay Men and How to Ruin a Friendship:   Ten Tips

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Gay Men and How to Ruin a Friendship:   Ten Tips In my 29 years as a gay men’s specialist therapist in Los Angeles, as well as being an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and life/career/executive coach for guys all over the world, I’ve helped a lot of guys with interpersonal relationships.  This can be about dating, … Read more

For a Job, For a Guy, For a Change: Gay Men and the Decision to Relocate

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For a Job, For a Guy, For a Change: Gay Men and the Decision to Relocate Over the course of my long (29 years in 2021) career as a gay men’s specialist therapist and life/career/relationship coach, I’ve had a certain list of topics that guys come to me with regularly.  One of these is someone … Read more

Gay Men Using Apps: The Dilemma of Dating versus Hookups

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Gay Men Using Apps: The Dilemma of Dating versus Hookups In my psychotherapy and coaching practice as a long-term (29 years in 2021) specialist in gay men, I’ve noticed in many client sessions lately that single guys (and those in open relationships) are presenting a dilemma about how to use the online apps like Grindr, … Read more

Gay Men and Gym Crushes: Cherish Your Romantic Notions

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Gay Men and Gym Crushes: Cherish Your Romantic Notions Recently, a friend of mine at lunch mentioned that someone at a nearby table looked like his “gym crush.”  It turned out not to be, and my friend told another story, but his use of the terminology stayed with me, and got me thinking.  That term … Read more

COVID’s End as Trauma Recovery in Gay Men

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COVID-19 As a Traumatic Experience At the time of this writing in early June, 2021, my local community of Los Angeles/West Hollywood (California) is gearing up for the broader grand re-opening of California by order of Governor Gavin Newsom on June 15th (according to a Los Angeles Times article of May 21, 2021, here). The new guidelines basically … Read more

Healthy Relationships Don’t Do That: A Guide for Gay Men’s Dating and More

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As a gay men’s specialist therapist for over 29 years (in 2021), I’ve always enjoyed being active on social media and interacting with my therapist colleagues there.  Recently I saw a great post from my local Los Angeles colleague on Instagram, Armine Asatryan, MA, LMFT, who is a specialist in anxiety and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.  She … Read more

Improving Gay Men’s Relationships: Meeting Three Needs: Emotional, Sexual, Interpersonal

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In a previous article (here), I cautioned single gay men about their dating skills and avoiding the all-too-often seen pitfalls of putting the emphasis in dating on the wrong things, such as Cash, Connections, and C—k.  As someone in a 19-year gay relationship with my partner/husband, I always say to clients that the things that … Read more