In my psychotherapy practice specializing in gay male individuals and gay male couples over the past 24 years, I have worked with many guys who need help because they are upset after discovering that their boyfriend or partner/spouse was “cheating” on them. I hesitate to even use the word “cheating” because it implies that it’s … Read more
You’ve bought appliances, electronics, all kinds of gadgets, right? So, how do you know how they work? Maybe you’ve seen someone else use the same thing, but often when we buy something, and it’s even a little complicated (electronic, mechanical, etc.), we consult the Owner’s Manual that comes in the box to learn how to … Read more
Not long ago, one of my clients, “Ryan” (not his real name) gave me permission to talk about one of his experiences in therapy for this blog. He was talking about flirtations. Ryan and his partner have been in a long-term, monogamous relationship for about 6 years. But truth be told, even though they only … Read more
A therapist’s office (similar to a physician’s or lawyer’s office) is a place to talk about things that would be difficult to talk about almost anywhere else except behind closed doors at home. This is why psychotherapy has a long tradition of strict confidentiality: what’s said in therapy, stays in therapy, with the exception of … Read more
[This is from 2014, so some of the references are outdated like the evolution of marriage equality laws. We’ve come a long way!] What an amazing turn of events for marriage equality in a relatively short time this year! For a terribly long time, gay couples have pleaded, waited, marched, lobbied, and battled for the … Read more
In my psychotherapy practice as a gay men’s specialty therapist for over 25 years, no topic among couples therapy is more frequent than that of the “monogamy vs. non-monogamy” debate. This is not an easy topic, and trying to over-simplify it just gets you into trouble. It IS, indeed, complex, and it takes time and … Read more
One of the positive stereotypes that are assigned to gay men (as welcome respite to so many negative ones) is that we have good taste. Our sense of our clothes, grooming, cars, and homes are respected to be stylish, up-to-date, and of good design and quality. But is this so for everyone? Recently I … Read more
As I think back on the past 24 years (by 2014) of providing couples counseling for gay male relationships, I sometimes get asked what the differences are that I see (in general) in gay male relationships that are (in general) different from straight relationships. In no particular order, below, are some of my thoughts. I … Read more
In my psychotherapy practice recently, I have worked with a number of clients on issues of how to strengthen their relationships with a partner. In my experience and observation over 20 years of doing couples therapy, and individual therapy with clients who are working on relationship issues, I think managing a relationship comes down to … Read more
Valentine’s Day, for all its lovely sentiment, is perhaps one of the most divisive holidays of the year. Everyone can enjoy New Year’s; every American can enjoy President’s Day (thankfully coming up very soon) and Independence Day; we each have a birthday. But Valentine’s Day is a “holiday for lovers”, and many single people can end … Read more
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is a life/career/executive/relationship coach who has specialized in gay men (individuals and gay male couples) and LGBT+ for over 30 years.
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