Ken 
Fear No Leather: Benefits of BDSM Play for Gay Men Who Are Scared Stiff (keywords: gay bdsm, leather, rubber, s/m, b/d, kink) Imagine for a moment that you are overhearing someone talking. They are saying the following: “Ewwww. I just don’t get those guys. That’s just weird. It’s unnatural. You’ve got to be sick to … Read more
Coming Out: Again and Again Many young gay men, in childhood and early adolescence, as they become aware that they are gay, often build an internal awareness of their gay identity long before it is known to any other human being, including those closest to them such as parents or best friends. Eventually, this awareness … Read more
On Gay Men and Father’s Day: Frankly, this day (Father’s Day) is a tough day for me. I grew up pretty severely emotionally abused by an angry father who raged at the world in fury, bitterness, resentment, and despair, pretty much every day, at having a gay son — and holding me responsible for … Read more
Gay Men’s Culture As a psychotherapist who has specialized in working with gay men for the past 26 years, I know that part of gay men’s culture is an emphasis on a youthful, lean, muscular physique. The sentiment is pervasive, and competitive — sometimes good-naturedly, sometimes aggressively and cruelly. Gay men’s culture has identified the … Read more
Taking a little diversion from my usual shrink’s take on movies, I’m going to share my thoughts on an event that I find incredibly exciting, even though I wasn’t even there — except perhaps in spirit. Last week (Thursday, 4/25) saw the long-anticipated opening on Broadway of the first revival of Stephen Schwartz’s long-running musical … Read more
As a licensed psychotherapist in West Hollywood with over 20 years’ experience specializing in working with gay men and people living with HIV, I’ve helped many guys cope in the early days after receiving a positive HIV test. Often, my new clients have just been to their doctor’s office, visited the AHF mobile testing van, … Read more
The Clarity Through Contrast Worksheet: Identifying Your Core Values as a Gay Man As a psychotherapist and career/life coach who has specialized working with gay men for over 20 years, much of my work involves helping my clients get what they want in life. But how do you KNOW what you really want? Some of … Read more
[WARNING: MILD SPOILERS and quoting offensive slurs, in an academic way] I must say, I was very impressed with the screenplay, direction, and performances in “Silver Linings Playbook”. Obviously, a film about someone with mental illness (Bipolar Disorder, to be exact) is going to interest me and the mission of this essay series. However, I … Read more
I saw “Warm Bodies” last night, after frankly much anticipation, for any number of reasons. Between this and “Jack the Giant Slayer”, young Nicholas Hoult is poised to claim the crown of new Movie Hunk enough to challenge the likes of the universally-loved James Franco. Also, my own foray into writing a Young Adult Fantasy … Read more
After 27 years as a therapist who specializes in gay men and couples, I’ve seen many problems in relationships repeat, over and over. One of these is the issue of couples who are struggling to deal with jealousy. And among jealousy issues, is snooping. Snooping is any act where one partner is doing something secretly … Read more
