Spruce Up, Dude: Gay Men’s Grooming and Its Importance in Relationships

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I’ve been providing relationship coaching and couples therapy for gay men since 1992, and over that time, I’ve noticed some patterns that will help, and hurt, a relationship. Lots of things help, but one that thing than can hurt is complacency.  Straight people know all about this; it’s the whole “married-now-let-yourself-go” syndrome — which can … Read more

The 8 Subtle Signs You Could Benefit from Therapy/Coaching

During my 22 years of clinical practice providing psychotherapy, mostly to both gay (www.GayTherapyLA.com) and straight (www.MensLifeSkillsCenter.com) men, I have helped clients with the well-known challenges that people seek therapy for: depression, anxiety, relationship concerns, career concerns, and loss.  The general public knows all of these.  But there are more subtle situations and reasons for … Read more

PrEP (Truvada): An HIV Mental Health Specialist Therapist Weighs In on One of the Hottest Topics for Gay Men Today

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At GayTherapyLA.com, (which can also be accessed via www.PozTherapist.com, to coincide with my identity as a psychotherapist with over 22 years experience providing gay-affirmative therapy to gay men and couples, as well as my 24 years being HIV-positive, and an HIV mental health expert and advocate in Los Angeles), my staff of clinical associates and … Read more

A Secular Appreciation of Easter

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Keep Calm and Read Blog.  This is gonna be radical: Can we all just celebrate the religious holidays of this week without the religious part? I’m not a “believer” in anything supernatural.  No Samantha Stephens twitching her nose.  No Jeannie blinking her eyes.  No Casper the Friendly Ghost.  No Ghosts.  No Vampires.  No Werewolves.  No … Read more

Gay Men’s Domiciles: Is Your House a Home?

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  One of the positive stereotypes that are assigned to gay men (as welcome respite to so many negative ones) is that we have good taste.  Our sense of our clothes, grooming, cars, and homes are respected to be stylish, up-to-date, and of good design and quality.  But is this so for everyone?  Recently I … Read more

Fred Phelps is Dead. We Can All Breathe a Sigh of Relief. Or Can We? In the Age of “ChristianMingle.com”, Maybe Not

You know, it’s not the Fred Phelps “God Hates Fags”/”Matthew Shepard In Hell” style of anti-gay hate you have to worry about. Phelps is dead, and his “movement” locally probably gone with him. No one ever gave Phelps any serious consideration; his and his family’s peculiar and theatrical expressive style of anti-gay sentiment was widely … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationships: Ten Ways They Differ from Straight Relationships

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As I think back on the past 24 years (by 2014) of providing couples counseling for gay male relationships, I sometimes get asked what the differences are that I see (in general) in gay male relationships that are (in general) different from straight relationships.  In no particular order, below, are some of my thoughts.  I … Read more

Tales from a Crispy Couch: A Therapist Leaves a Burned Office Building

So many of my articles begin with “as a psychotherapist in private practice…”, and what I meant by that was “at my office in West Hollywood, California”, where I made my home-away-from-home for the past 9 years. I think I spent more time in that room than in any other room in the course of … Read more

Positive Life Changes for 2014: Think Big, Start Small

Happy New Year!  I like to send my New Year’s greeting to my subscribers during the SECOND week of the year.  Why? Because everyone does it around January 1st, and it’s easy for all the “New Year Resolution/Make This Year Best Year Yet” messages to get mixed up. As inspiring and valuable as material from … Read more

Why No One Starts Therapy in December — And Why You Should

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Happy December!  How are those New Year’s Resolutions working out for you? You know, the ones that you had in January, almost a year ago?  Do you remember what they were?  Did you make any?  Did you have goals for this year?  Did you reach those goals? The other day, I reviewed my Goals List … Read more