Of Bears and Twinks: Weight Loss Issues for Gay Men in Therapy

Gay Men’s Culture As a psychotherapist who has specialized in working with gay men for the past 26 years, I know that part of gay men’s culture is an emphasis on a youthful, lean, muscular physique.  The sentiment is pervasive, and competitive — sometimes good-naturedly, sometimes aggressively and cruelly. Gay men’s culture has identified the … Read more

Shrink at the Movies: Broadway’s Revival of “Pippin” (2013)

Taking a little diversion from my usual shrink’s take on movies, I’m going to share my thoughts on an event that I find incredibly exciting, even though I wasn’t even there — except perhaps in spirit. Last week (Thursday, 4/25) saw the long-anticipated opening on Broadway of the first revival of Stephen Schwartz’s long-running musical … Read more

Help for When You Receive a Positive HIV Test: Why Do You React the Way You Do?

As a licensed psychotherapist in West Hollywood with over 20 years’ experience specializing in working with gay men and people living with HIV, I’ve helped many guys cope in the early days after receiving a positive HIV test.  Often, my new clients have just been to their doctor’s office, visited the AHF mobile testing van, … Read more

The Clarity through Contrast Worksheet: Identifying Your Core Values as a Gay Man

The Clarity Through Contrast Worksheet:  Identifying Your Core Values as a Gay Man As a psychotherapist and career/life coach who has specialized working with  gay men for over 20 years, much of my work involves helping my clients get what they want in life.  But how do you KNOW what you really want?  Some of … Read more

Shrink at the Movies: “Silver Linings Playbook” (2013)

[WARNING: MILD SPOILERS and quoting offensive slurs, in an academic way] I must say, I was very impressed with the screenplay, direction, and performances in “Silver Linings Playbook”. Obviously, a film about someone with mental illness (Bipolar Disorder, to be exact) is going to interest me and the mission of this essay series. However, I … Read more

Gay Therapist Gives Gay Relationship Tips: Resist the Urge to Snoop!

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After 27 years as a therapist who specializes in gay men and couples, I’ve seen many problems in relationships repeat, over and over.  One of these is the issue of couples who are struggling to deal with jealousy.  And among jealousy issues, is snooping. Snooping is any act where one partner is doing something secretly … Read more

Tips on How to Manage Money in a Gay Relationship

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As a therapist in private practice who has specialized in working almost exclusively with gay men for over 27 years, I have seen many individuals and couples who come in for help with issues related to managing money.  There are few issues for either individuals or couples that provoke more anxiety than money, especially if … Read more