Ken Howard, LCSW

Boo! Scary – Conquering Your Fears

November 1, 2016October 29, 2009 by Ken

I love Halloween. Maybe it’s because of the theatricality of it, with costumes and props, or maybe it’s because of my addiction to chocolate. Author Peg Aloi, an expert on Pagan holidays, explains that Halloween, or “Samhain” as it is sometimes called (which means “summer’s end”), is observed as a celebration of the last harvest … Read more

Three Keys for a Successful Gay Life: Something to Do, Love, and Hope For

January 31, 2020June 20, 2009 by Ken

There is a quote from philosopher Emmanuel Kant that says that we need three things to succeed in life: “Something to Do, Someone to Love, and Something to Hope For.” In my psychotherapy practice specializing in therapy and coaching for gay men, when I see truly thriving people, I think these three things are key … Read more

Managing Recession Anxiety: How to Cope with Layoff

March 23, 2020February 26, 2009 by Ken

[THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN 2009, DURING THE “GREAT RECESSION”. HOWEVER, IT IS STILL RELEVANT TODAY FOR ANYONE REGARDING THE TOPIC OF LAYOFF OR JOB LOSS, OR EVEN WORK SLOWDOWN DURING ANY ECONOMICALLY-STRESSED TIME.] While the current economic recession* (2009) may spare many of us as gay men, who are often considered an “affluent” segment … Read more

The Golden Boys: Gay Men at Midlife

February 8, 2021January 11, 2009 by Ken

Ken gives nine tips for how gay men can thrive at midlife and beyond.

Finding Mr. Right in Gay Men’s Dating: The Six Lights Theory

September 8, 2019September 24, 2008 by Ken

In my private practice as a psychotherapist, I work frequently with gay couples seeking conjoint therapy to address a variety of challenges in their relationships. In my practice in therapy for gay men since 1992, I have come to notice certain consistent patterns in what drives conflict between either long-term couples, or couples who recently … Read more

Inspiration from Music: Dolly Parton’s “Better Get to Livin'”

January 20, 2016September 22, 2008 by Ken

In my work as a psychotherapist and life coach, I am always grateful for the many and varied sources of inspiration that come my way. The latest uplifting piece of material I’ve come across is in music, and in another article, I’ve written about songs that can be inspiring and empowering. There is a relatively … Read more

Breaking the Ice: Gay Men’s Conversational Skills and How to Use Therapy to Overcome Shyness

December 14, 2021July 16, 2008 by Ken

As a psychotherapist in private practice focusing on gay men, I love the diversity I see in my work. No two clients are alike, except for one issue that I see frequently – which is social anxiety. Many guys come to me and want help to overcome shyness. One of the biggest misconceptions that I’ve … Read more

Twelve Tips for a Successful Hospital Stay

January 20, 2016April 23, 2008 by Ken

My recent three-day stay in a somewhat-small-by-LA-standards but rather posh urban hospital took away the up-until-now, 43-year virginity I had to hospital stays. I had no idea what to expect, but now that I’m out, I wanted to share my experience so that perhaps I might be of help to someone else who is facing … Read more

Election Blues from Panicking Pollster

April 18, 2008 by Ken

Dear Shrink,

I’m a 22-year-old gay male and I’m a little too deep into election news. I can’t get enough of the news, information online, and newspaper and magazine articles. I follow the polls like a stalker, hoping that my favored candidate is ahead. If we get another anti-gay President, I’m going to scream. How do I deal with my election obsession?

Read more

Supportive an HIV-Positive Family Member – “The Worried Mom”

July 19, 2019March 24, 2008 by Ken

Dear Ken,

My son is 26 years old, and I’m his mother. I live in a suburb of a major American city. My son just told me he is HIV-positive. How do I respond to this? I love my son, and I want him to be happy and healthy, but I’m just now sure “how” to react. Any advice?

Signed, Worried Mom

Dear Worried Mom,