In honor of National Coming Out Day, I offer a reprint of an essay I did for an AIDS Project Los Angeles publication a few years ago: Coming Out: Again and Again Many young gay men, in childhood and early adolescence, as they become aware that they are gay, often build an internal awareness of their gay … Read more
How many times in a year do I hear that there are people who “hate birthdays”? Far too many. For these people, any recognition of a birthday is somehow a validation of their fears of aging, or a reminder that they are “just getting older.” What can I say about this, as a sophisticated licensed … Read more
In case you haven’t been exposed to any news this week, it’s been a really “newsy” week — a really BAD newsy week, that is. In the past weeks, there have been FIVE — that’s right, FIVE, an entire FIST — of suicides by gay boys and men that are as a result of vicious, … Read more
Imagine, just for a moment: A group of people, motivated by an extreme devotion to their religion, ban together and begin to plan action that expresses their rage against those whom they disagree with on religious, cultural, and social grounds. They carefully plot a strategy to act out that rage, carefully, systematically, secretly, and determinedly. … Read more
The story of the week, for me, was the tale that included equal parts amazement and poignancy: the report that 22-year-old actor Thomas Magill, of New York City, jumped off the 39th floor of his West End Avenue apartment after leaving a note on his Facebook Bio page that said, “I’m over it”, and listed his … Read more
Looking at the news over the past couple of weeks from a gay men’s mental health point of view leaves quite a bit to be desired. In my last post, I was talking about how the overturn of Prop 8 is a collective mental health booster for the entire lesbian and gay community. Conversely, the … Read more
The overturn of Proposition 8 in California last week by federal judge Vaughn Walker was indeed good news. Not only did it overturn one of meanest-spirited pieces of legislation in modern history, Walker’s 136-page ruling made a number of eloquent and cogent points. He challenged the heterosexist assumption that all or any heterosexual relationship is … Read more
My take on the whole recent Lindsay Lohan story reminds me of a thing that I work with my clients on sometimes. As much as I believe in positive role-modeling of behavior, there is such a thing as the opposite — negative behavioral role-modeling, or what NOT to do. This can actually be very useful; … Read more
As we celebrate the summer and the Fourth of July — Independence Day — let’s consider the meaning of that word, “independence.” Historically, this means celebrating America’s birth as a nation. But we can celebrate our INDIVIDUAL independence by declaring ourselves free of something we no longer want in our lives. What burdens you? What … Read more
In the news today, there are a number of accumulating signs that the economic Recession, that has plagued so many, for so long, may finally be coming to an end. Are you ready? During the Recession, we saw countless “negative items” that cast a collective pall on our country. Lost jobs. No merit raises. Fewer … Read more
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is a life/career/executive/relationship coach who has specialized in gay men (individuals and gay male couples) and LGBT+ for over 30 years.
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