It would be easy if you both earned exactly the same, wouldn’t it? That doesn’t happen in real life, though, and almost every couple deals with an income gap. When the gap is large, you really have to be on your game to keep it from becoming a big and continuing problem. It’s important that … Read more
In my psychotherapy practice as a gay men’s specialty therapist for over 25 years, no topic among couples therapy is more frequent than that of the “monogamy vs. non-monogamy” debate. This is not an easy topic, and trying to over-simplify it just gets you into trouble. It IS, indeed, complex, and it takes time and … Read more
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and its less-severe related diagnosis, Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) can be the topic of jokes and even comedy movies. But living with the actual disorder is no joke. OCD is quite burdensome to live with, and it can make the partners of people living with OCD stressed-out, too. People living with OCD … Read more
I’ve been providing relationship coaching and couples therapy for gay men since 1992, and over that time, I’ve noticed some patterns that will help, and hurt, a relationship. Lots of things help, but one that thing than can hurt is complacency. Straight people know all about this; it’s the whole “married-now-let-yourself-go” syndrome — which can … Read more
At GayTherapyLA.com, (which can also be accessed via www.PozTherapist.com, to coincide with my identity as a psychotherapist with over 22 years experience providing gay-affirmative therapy to gay men and couples, as well as my 24 years being HIV-positive, and an HIV mental health expert and advocate in Los Angeles), my staff of clinical associates and … Read more
As I think back on the past 24 years (by 2014) of providing couples counseling for gay male relationships, I sometimes get asked what the differences are that I see (in general) in gay male relationships that are (in general) different from straight relationships. In no particular order, below, are some of my thoughts. I … Read more
With marriage equality being achieved in more and more states, many gay male couples are contemplating getting married. This is a serious step in the life of any relationship, and many gay male couples (just like straight ones), face it with apprehension, and anxiety, mixed in with the usual thrill of excitement and profound … Read more
Fear No Leather: Benefits of BDSM Play for Gay Men Who Are Scared Stiff (keywords: gay bdsm, leather, rubber, s/m, b/d, kink) Imagine for a moment that you are overhearing someone talking. They are saying the following: “Ewwww. I just don’t get those guys. That’s just weird. It’s unnatural. You’ve got to be sick to … Read more
After 27 years as a therapist who specializes in gay men and couples, I’ve seen many problems in relationships repeat, over and over. One of these is the issue of couples who are struggling to deal with jealousy. And among jealousy issues, is snooping. Snooping is any act where one partner is doing something secretly … Read more
As a therapist in private practice who has specialized in working almost exclusively with gay men for over 27 years, I have seen many individuals and couples who come in for help with issues related to managing money. There are few issues for either individuals or couples that provoke more anxiety than money, especially if … Read more
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is a life/career/executive/relationship coach who has specialized in gay men (individuals and gay male couples) and LGBT+ for over 30 years.
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