Gay Relationships Archives - Page 7 of 8

How Do You Know When Your Gay Relationship Is Over?

April 26, 2021July 21, 2012 by Ken

man seated gay depresssed sexual abuse incest dollar photo

Gay men’s therapy expert Ken Howard, LCSW, founder of GayTherapyLA.com, discusses the signs that could mean your gay relationship is over.

Gay Men in Search of a Partner: Avoiding the Pitfalls of ‘Cash, Connections, and C—k’

July 10, 2020April 9, 2012 by Ken

In my private practice in counseling and coaching gay men in West Hollywood, my clients who are single often mention a desire to find a permanent partner. This is only natural; most people (male/female/gay/straight) have an urge to find a partner/spouse to share life with, but this is by no means everyone – it’s also … Read more

Gay Therapist Gives Tips for Coping with Jealousy in Gay Men’s Relationships

June 14, 2021March 7, 2012 by Ken

kh pp angry gay couple in bed deposit photo 2 3 20

Recently someone emailed me a question, and I decided to write more about the topic of jealousy in gay men’s relationships, and how to deal with insecurity, in yourself, or in a partner. See below: Q: What do you suggest to people when they constantly compare themselves to others or don’t feel “good enough”, which … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationships: How to Make It Work on Four Levels

September 22, 2020January 10, 2012 by Ken

In my psychotherapy practice recently, I have worked with a number of clients on issues of how to strengthen their relationships with a partner. In my experience and observation over 20 years of doing couples therapy, and individual therapy with clients who are working on relationship issues, I think managing a relationship comes down to … Read more

Finding Mr. Right in Gay Men’s Dating: The Six Lights Theory

September 8, 2019September 24, 2008 by Ken

In my private practice as a psychotherapist, I work frequently with gay couples seeking conjoint therapy to address a variety of challenges in their relationships. In my practice in therapy for gay men since 1992, I have come to notice certain consistent patterns in what drives conflict between either long-term couples, or couples who recently … Read more

No More ‘Cheating’ Part II: How Gay Men Can Have an Open Relationship Without Hurt Feelings

May 1, 2022March 24, 2008 by Ken

gay male couple on beach — Gay men in open relationships need lots of communication.

Part II: Identifying and Implementing Your Options

In my previous article, Part I of this topic, I described how in my work as a psychotherapist specializing in gay men and their relationships, very often I see couples expressing a desire to eliminate “cheating” in a relationship by bravely, candidly, and sensitively discussing their options about how and why either or both partners might desire occasional sex outside the relationship, and how this does not have to be unhealthy or damaging to the relationship. Studies of gay male relationships over the years have explained how it is culturally relatively more acceptable in gay male relationships (more so than in any other kind of human relationship) to have a primary partner but allow sexual play with others.

No More ‘Cheating’ Part I: How Gay Men Can Have an Open Relationship Without Hurt Feelings

March 7, 2019March 17, 2008 by Ken

Part I: Gay Men’s Open Relationships: Starting a Dialogue With Your Partner

Perhaps no word in relationships, including those between gay men, is as inflammatory as “cheating” – the slang to denote one person in a relationship having sex with someone outside of that relationship in a way that too often results in feelings of anger, betrayal, and disappointment in the remaining partner. Yet some would say this dynamic simply borrows from an antiquated Legendary psychotherapist Michael Shernoff, LCSW, who has been an author, professor, and therapist specializing in gay men’s issues in New York City for over 30 years,

Improving Communication with Your Relationship Partner: Avoid Making These 5 Common Mistakes!

August 1, 2005 by Ken

In my work providing counseling for couples of all kinds (M-W, W-W, M-M), I find that the partners frustrate themselves all too frequently by falling into certain common traps that impair communication. These are some of the ones I see; the “roles” that you want to avoid in order to have productive communication:

How to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 2 of 2)

June 19, 2019April 9, 2005 by Ken

In part I of this article, I described some of the very practical HIV transmission risk management issues involved in sex between HIV negative and positive guys. Other issues that often confront “magnetic” or “serodiscordant” couples include not fully understanding the burden that HIV is to your partner, and being only partially able to sympathize and “relate” with his various fears, frustrations, and symptoms.

How to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 1 of 2)

September 26, 2019April 5, 2005 by Ken

[NOTE: This article was written before PrEP. I’ve been a gay men’s specialist therapist and blogger for a VERY long time…]

You’re on your third date with someone who very well could be Mr. Right. You’re impressed that you got him to go to your favorite restaurant when you weren’t sure he would like it. You’re staring across the candle-lit table at those beautiful green eyes of his. He pauses and then takes a deep breath, a little sigh, and says, “So… I guess I should tell you that I’m HIV-positive.”