Of Bears and Twinks: Weight Loss Issues for Gay Men in Therapy

Gay Men’s Culture As a psychotherapist who has specialized in working with gay men for the past 26 years, I know that part of gay men’s culture is an emphasis on a youthful, lean, muscular physique.  The sentiment is pervasive, and competitive — sometimes good-naturedly, sometimes aggressively and cruelly. Gay men’s culture has identified the … Read more

Help for When You Receive a Positive HIV Test: Why Do You React the Way You Do?

As a licensed psychotherapist in West Hollywood with over 20 years’ experience specializing in working with gay men and people living with HIV, I’ve helped many guys cope in the early days after receiving a positive HIV test.  Often, my new clients have just been to their doctor’s office, visited the AHF mobile testing van, … Read more

December 16, 2010: The HIV ‘Cure’ and Never Say Never

With the news this week that a man has been declared officially “cured” of HIV by way of stem cell therapy (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/14/hiv-cure-berlin-patient_n_796521.html), I was heartened, to say the least. Immediately, my mind went to two things: one was about what this means for the immediate future of HIV eradication research, and how soon could something … Read more

November 3, 2010: On Twenty Years of Living with HIV

kh pp AIDS ribbon dollar photo

Living with HIV:   It was 20 years ago today, November 3rd, 1990, that  I was diagnosed with HIV.  Knowing this “anniversary” was coming up, I was thinking about how to write about it.  I had things in mind, like a bullet-pointed “highlights” of the challenges and even perhaps “rewarding” or at least “poignant” experiences … Read more

Self-Empowerment for Gay Men and the Three Resources: Time, Energy, Money

Self-empowerment for gay men means managing your resources of time, energy, and money. 

Over the course of my 18 years as a psychotherapist in private practice in West Hollywood, California, I’ve come to utilize a number of phrases that summarize the wisdom of various theorists from Sigmund Freud, the “founder” of psychotherapy, to Louise Hay, an 80’s New Age inspirational author. But, also along the way, I’ve developed a few phrases of my own, “Ken-isms” I like to call them, based on my many observations, that have helped many people in various classic problem situations that I see over and over. Perhaps my favorite concept in treatment is “self-empowerment” (which is the name of my upcoming book, Self-Empowerment: Have the Life You Want!), because I believe in helping people empower themselves to improve their quality of life in various areas, such as your health, mental health, relationships, career, and finances. One of my favorite “Ken-isms” is encouraging my clients to spend their resources of Time, Energy, and Money according to their Values, Priorities, and Goals. What does this mean? Let’s take each one of those six elements:

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Three Keys for a Successful Gay Life: Something to Do, Love, and Hope For

There is a quote from philosopher Emmanuel Kant that says that we need three things to succeed in life:  “Something to Do, Someone to Love, and Something to Hope For.”  In my psychotherapy practice specializing in therapy and coaching for gay men, when I see truly thriving people, I think these three things are key … Read more

Managing Recession Anxiety: How to Cope with Layoff

gay depressed man

[THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN 2009, DURING THE “GREAT RECESSION”.  HOWEVER, IT IS STILL RELEVANT TODAY FOR ANYONE REGARDING THE TOPIC OF LAYOFF OR JOB LOSS, OR EVEN WORK SLOWDOWN DURING ANY ECONOMICALLY-STRESSED TIME.] While the current economic recession* (2009) may spare many of us as gay men, who are often considered an “affluent” segment … Read more

Inspiration from Music: Dolly Parton’s “Better Get to Livin'”

In my work as a psychotherapist and life coach, I am always grateful for the many and varied sources of inspiration that come my way.  The latest uplifting piece of material I’ve come across is in music, and in another article, I’ve written about songs that can be inspiring and empowering.  There is a relatively … Read more