Gay Men and Ghosting: Why We Do It, How We Cope

ghosting man deposit photo 5 24 18

Gay Men and Ghosting:  Why We Do It, How We Cope In the blogosphere, there have already been some articles on gay men and ghosting, but none of them go into any real depth from a mental health point of view, and in my 26 years as a psychotherapist who specializes in therapy for gay … Read more

Single Gay Men in Search of a Relationship: This is Not Your Parents’ Marriage

kh pp gay male couple on beach at sunset adobe photo

In my psychotherapy practice, I often work with single gay men in search of a relationship.  Are you sometimes frustrated that you are still single? I hear this a lot in my psychotherapy and coaching practice, where for over 24 years, I have helped gay men deal with this situation. There is no one “magic … Read more

Gay Men in Search of a Partner: Avoiding the Pitfalls of ‘Cash, Connections, and C—k’

gay male couple on date with glasses

In my private practice in counseling and coaching gay men in West Hollywood, my clients who are single often mention a desire to find a permanent partner.  This is only natural; most people (male/female/gay/straight) have an urge to find a partner/spouse to share life with, but this is by no means everyone – it’s also … Read more

Valentine’s Day for Single Gay Men: Coping with Hope

valentine couple deposit photo Feb 2020

Valentine’s Day, for all its lovely sentiment, is perhaps one of the most divisive holidays of the year.  Everyone can enjoy New Year’s; every American can enjoy President’s Day (thankfully coming up very soon) and Independence Day; we each have a birthday.  But Valentine’s Day is a “holiday for lovers”, and many single people can end … Read more

Finding Mr. Right in Gay Men’s Dating: The Six Lights Theory

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In my private practice as a psychotherapist, I work frequently with gay couples seeking conjoint therapy to address a variety of challenges in their relationships.  In my practice in therapy for gay men since 1992, I have come to notice certain consistent patterns in what drives conflict between either long-term couples, or couples who recently … Read more

How to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 2 of 2)

In part I of this article, I described some of the very practical HIV transmission risk management issues involved in sex between HIV negative and positive guys. Other issues that often confront “magnetic” or “serodiscordant” couples include not fully understanding the burden that HIV is to your partner, and being only partially able to sympathize and “relate” with his various fears, frustrations, and symptoms.

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How to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 1 of 2)

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[NOTE:  This article was written before PrEP. I’ve been a gay men’s specialist therapist and blogger for a VERY long time…]

You’re on your third date with someone who very well could be Mr. Right. You’re impressed that you got him to go to your favorite restaurant when you weren’t sure he would like it. You’re staring across the candle-lit table at those beautiful green eyes of his. He pauses and then takes a deep breath, a little sigh, and says, “So… I guess I should tell you that I’m HIV-positive.”

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