In the sport of hockey, somehow it became acceptable — even preferred — for its players to not only skate around on ice and toss a puck around, soccer-style, with sticks, but also occasionally to break out in fights. You always know when one is about to happen. Somebody does or says something to piss … Read more
[This is from 2014, so some of the references are outdated like the evolution of marriage equality laws. We’ve come a long way!] What an amazing turn of events for marriage equality in a relatively short time this year! For a terribly long time, gay couples have pleaded, waited, marched, lobbied, and battled for the … Read more
As gay men, we all feel it from time to time. We go to a theme park and see the seemingly benevolent young father (OK, a “DILF“). We see the interaction between father and son, or father and daughter, and there is a pang in your heart in recognizing the fact that he has something … Read more
One of the most common topics I help guys with in my psychotherapy and coaching practice (now 22 years) is about improving self-esteem. It makes sense; gay men get a lot of “negative messages” growing up and, cumulatively, they take their toll. Usually in addition to whatever else we are working on (career, finances, relationship … Read more
Recently, some clients in my psychotherapy practice, which for 27 years has focused on the mental health and well-being of adult gay men, have been discussing the role and value of a “fuck buddy” in their lives. While all sexual topics (even in our “modern” age) seem to come fraught with controversy these days (and … Read more
When it’s good, it’s very, very good. You’re relaxed. Sounds and sights are more vivid. Everything is a bit funny. Time loses its tyranny. Man, this feeling is great! Well, okay, there’s the clumsiness, hunger and thirst, and distorted senses, but at first, and maybe (for some people) for a very long time, the pluses … Read more
It would be easy if you both earned exactly the same, wouldn’t it? That doesn’t happen in real life, though, and almost every couple deals with an income gap. When the gap is large, you really have to be on your game to keep it from becoming a big and continuing problem. It’s important that … Read more
In my psychotherapy practice as a gay men’s specialty therapist for over 25 years, no topic among couples therapy is more frequent than that of the “monogamy vs. non-monogamy” debate. This is not an easy topic, and trying to over-simplify it just gets you into trouble. It IS, indeed, complex, and it takes time and … Read more
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and its less-severe related diagnosis, Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) can be the topic of jokes and even comedy movies. But living with the actual disorder is no joke. OCD is quite burdensome to live with, and it can make the partners of people living with OCD stressed-out, too. People living with OCD … Read more
Depression is the number one mental health problem in the world and gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals are up to twice as likely to suffer from depression as heterosexuals – not because they inferior human beings (contrary to some religious teachings and other oppression), but because the cumulative stress of heterosexism and homophobia in society, … Read more
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is a life/career/executive/relationship coach who has specialized in gay men (individuals and gay male couples) and LGBT+ for over 30 years.
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