Louise Hay and the Power of Thoughts Lately, I’ve been revisiting the writings of Louise Hay, the New Age spiritual author and speaker whom I’ve followed for a long time now. She’s 84, and lives a very vibrant life in San Diego. Her whole message is about loving the self, and using the power of … Read more
Coming Out: Again and Again Many young gay men, in childhood and early adolescence, as they become aware that they are gay, often build an internal awareness of their gay identity long before it is known to any other human being, including those closest to them such as parents or best friends. Eventually, this awareness … Read more
Gay Men’s Culture As a psychotherapist who has specialized in working with gay men for the past 26 years, I know that part of gay men’s culture is an emphasis on a youthful, lean, muscular physique. The sentiment is pervasive, and competitive — sometimes good-naturedly, sometimes aggressively and cruelly. Gay men’s culture has identified the … Read more
Have you been watching the Olympics? Are you impressed with the skill, style, determination, stamina, endurance, grace, and aesthetics of the athletes doing what they do best? If you’re like millions of people across the world during these weeks, you are. Seeing various Olympic events gets me thinking about how these athletes are in many … Read more
One of the most common themes I see in my office doing counseling, psychotherapy, and coaching with gay male individuals and gay couples is that of low self-esteem and low self-confidence. It’s not surprising; as little gay boys, we get exposed to anti-gay messages outright, or at least to the “invisibility” that comes with the … Read more
Conquering Self-Doubt as “The Gay Male Creative Solo Entrepreneur” Someone asked me recently what I did for a living. Fair question, common question, but I gave an uncommon answer: “I’m a licensed psychotherapist and life/business coach who focuses on helping the gay male creative solo entrepreneur close the gap between how life is, and how … Read more
By now, many people have seen the Xtranormal.com video, “Selecting a Gym in West Hollywood”. In fact, as of today, 8,699 people have seen it on YouTube, and on the original Xtranormal.com site, 13,753. What many people don’t know is, I wrote it — along with my husband, Michael Ryan. We were just kind of … Read more
What is professional self-esteem? In recent years in my psychotherapy practice, I have noticed a dramatic increase in the demand for more “coaching”-style services, and I have been happy to develop this for my clients. There are personal coaching issues, to be sure, but what I find much more frequently is that clients need professional … Read more
For the previous article to this, click here for Express Yourself, Part I
Last month, I related a story of a recent study from Dr. Kevin J. Petrie at the University of Auckland (New Zealand) of how 37 people living with HIV were studied in two groups: one group who expressively wrote about their feelings for 30 minutes a day on 4 consecutive days, and a comparison group who wrote objectively about how they occupied their time.
A friend of mine recently was telling me about an article he read about a study where people living with HIV who were shy – socially, emotionally reserved – had significantly worse overall health than people who were not shy. This story seemed to underscore the old adage about how “it’s not good for you … Read more
