Gay Men in Search of a Partner: Avoiding the Pitfalls of ‘Cash, Connections, and C—k’

gay male couple on date with glasses

In my private practice in counseling and coaching gay men in West Hollywood, my clients who are single often mention a desire to find a permanent partner.  This is only natural; most people (male/female/gay/straight) have an urge to find a partner/spouse to share life with, but this is by no means everyone – it’s also … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationships: How to Make It Work on Four Levels

older gay male couple adobe photo

In my psychotherapy practice recently, I have worked with a number of clients on issues of how to strengthen their relationships with a partner.  In my experience and observation over 20 years of doing couples therapy, and individual therapy with clients who are working on relationship issues, I think managing a relationship comes down to … Read more

No More ‘Cheating’ Part II: How Gay Men Can Have an Open Relationship Without Hurt Feelings

smiling gay male couple on a beach
gay male couple on beach
Gay men in open relationships need lots of communication.

Part II: Identifying and Implementing Your Options

In my previous article, Part I of this topic, I described how in my work as a psychotherapist specializing in gay men and their relationships, very often I see couples expressing a desire to eliminate “cheating” in a relationship by bravely, candidly, and sensitively discussing their options about how and why either or both partners might desire occasional sex outside the relationship, and how this does not have to be unhealthy or damaging to the relationship. Studies of gay male relationships over the years have explained how it is culturally relatively more acceptable in gay male relationships (more so than in any other kind of human relationship) to have a primary partner but allow sexual play with others.

Read more

7 Ways to Take Care of Your Financial Self – Now and for the Future

coins photo

coins-photoPart of my initial assessment as a psychotherapist for gay men examines their current financial security, goals, fears, risks, and rewards. Our finances contribute to how we perceive our external environment, and they affect mood, feelings, behavior, and relationships. Since starting in practice as a gay men’s specialist therapist in 1992, I have observed certain “true-isms” about guys who have it together financially – regardless of their income bracket. What is the connection between good financial habits and coping with depression and anxiety? Here are some time-honored tips:

Read more