In my psychotherapy practice, I often work with single gay men in search of a relationship. Are you sometimes frustrated that you are still single? I hear this a lot in my psychotherapy and coaching practice, where for over 24 years, I have helped gay men deal with this situation. There is no one “magic … Read more
Have you been bothered by having nightmares or bad dreams? Today I wanted to write about gay men and sleep, and coping with nightmares. This comes up frequently either with clients in my office, or when I do online counseling or coaching for gay men all over the country, or the world. Yesterday in my … Read more
A while back, I wrote an article about gay men and resisting the urge to “snoop” – that is, looking at your boyfriend/partner/spouse’s phone without his permission; more on that here. And in this article here, I offered some advice on how to use social media but avoid overwhelm, jealousy, mistrust, and stress. Similarly, I’d … Read more
In my psychotherapy practice specializing in gay male individuals and gay male couples over the past 24 years, I have worked with many guys who need help because they are upset after discovering that their boyfriend or partner/spouse was “cheating” on them. I hesitate to even use the word “cheating” because it implies that it’s … Read more
As Thanksgiving approaches, my pondering thoughts (as I am prone to have, as bloggers do) about how this holiday relates to gay men. What meaning does it have for us, as a community, that perhaps it doesn’t really have for our straight brethren? There is overlap, for sure. For most Americans, Thanksgiving (especially those of … Read more
I was diagnosed with HIV on Saturday, November 3, 1990. That was 25 years ago today. This was at the old site of the LA Gay & Lesbian Center, when it was on Highland Avenue. My “code name” that I gave one week before for the blood test was “KH90” (my initials and the year), … Read more
As a psychotherapist and life/career coach for gay men for over 23 years, the question I hear most frequently from new clients, “How do I change something about my life?” They want to add something they want, get rid of something they don’t want, or change something so that it better meets their needs. This … Read more
With the recent Department of Homeland Security raid and arrest of Rentboy.com, the issue of paid sex work, also known as escorts or “prostitution” among gay men, has been a hot topic. The United States has always had an anxious relationship to all things sexual, and this is explored well in a new book by … Read more
In my practice, I do a lot of career coaching. Whether it’s guys in their 20’s who are making their mark on the world, or guys in their 30’s who are often getting their first management positions, midlife guys who are making a career change, or early retirees trying to decide what to do after … Read more
One of the biggest questions that guys have about their careers is how to make more money. Women wonder this, too, but my psychotherapy and coaching practice focuses on men (gay and straight) and I know more about those dynamics. Even though there is certainly a social injustice about men, in general, getting paid more … Read more
