Gay Pride 2012: From a Gay Men’s Therapist Perspective

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Happy Pride! Frankly, this year, it couldn’t come soon enough.  In my private practice specializing in gay men’s therapy and life/career coaching for 20 years, I’ve noticed that what happens in the political and social world very often affects the individual mental health and emotional state of my clients. When the Republican primary candidates relentlessly … Read more

Valentine’s Day for Single Gay Men: Coping with Hope

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Valentine’s Day, for all its lovely sentiment, is perhaps one of the most divisive holidays of the year.  Everyone can enjoy New Year’s; every American can enjoy President’s Day (thankfully coming up very soon) and Independence Day; we each have a birthday.  But Valentine’s Day is a “holiday for lovers”, and many single people can end … Read more

January 22, 2011: My Xtranormal Adventure: ‘Selecting a Gym in West Hollywood’

By now, many people have seen the Xtranormal.com video, “Selecting a Gym in West Hollywood”.  In fact, as of today, 8,699 people have seen it on YouTube, and on the original Xtranormal.com site, 13,753. What many people don’t know is, I wrote it — along with my husband, Michael Ryan.  We were just kind of … Read more

January 8, 2011: New Year, New Hip, New Movies (“Black Swan”/”The King’s Speech”)

Happy New Year! In the January issue of my e-newsletter, “Self-Empowerment: Have the Life You Want!”, I’ll be discussing how to set your goals for 2011 to feel empowered to make the positive changes in your life that you want to see over the next 12 months. Sign up now on my home page to … Read more

Gay Men’s Career Confidence: Do You Have ‘Professional Self-Esteem’?

What is professional self-esteem? In recent years in my psychotherapy practice, I have noticed a dramatic increase in the demand for more “coaching”-style services, and I have been happy to develop this for my clients. There are personal coaching issues, to be sure, but what I find much more frequently is that clients need professional … Read more

Self-Empowerment for Gay Men and the Three Resources: Time, Energy, Money

Self-empowerment for gay men means managing your resources of time, energy, and money. 

Over the course of my 18 years as a psychotherapist in private practice in West Hollywood, California, I’ve come to utilize a number of phrases that summarize the wisdom of various theorists from Sigmund Freud, the “founder” of psychotherapy, to Louise Hay, an 80’s New Age inspirational author. But, also along the way, I’ve developed a few phrases of my own, “Ken-isms” I like to call them, based on my many observations, that have helped many people in various classic problem situations that I see over and over. Perhaps my favorite concept in treatment is “self-empowerment” (which is the name of my upcoming book, Self-Empowerment: Have the Life You Want!), because I believe in helping people empower themselves to improve their quality of life in various areas, such as your health, mental health, relationships, career, and finances. One of my favorite “Ken-isms” is encouraging my clients to spend their resources of Time, Energy, and Money according to their Values, Priorities, and Goals. What does this mean? Let’s take each one of those six elements:

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Managing Recession Anxiety: How to Cope with Layoff

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[THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN 2009, DURING THE “GREAT RECESSION”.  HOWEVER, IT IS STILL RELEVANT TODAY FOR ANYONE REGARDING THE TOPIC OF LAYOFF OR JOB LOSS, OR EVEN WORK SLOWDOWN DURING ANY ECONOMICALLY-STRESSED TIME.] While the current economic recession* (2009) may spare many of us as gay men, who are often considered an “affluent” segment … Read more

Inspiration from Music: Dolly Parton’s “Better Get to Livin'”

In my work as a psychotherapist and life coach, I am always grateful for the many and varied sources of inspiration that come my way.  The latest uplifting piece of material I’ve come across is in music, and in another article, I’ve written about songs that can be inspiring and empowering.  There is a relatively … Read more

Breaking the Ice: Gay Men’s Conversational Skills and How to Use Therapy to Overcome Shyness

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As a psychotherapist in private practice focusing on gay men, I love the diversity I see in my work.  No two clients are alike, except for one issue that I see frequently – which is social anxiety.  Many guys come to me and want help to overcome shyness.  One of the biggest misconceptions that I’ve … Read more