Valentine’s Day for Single Gay Men: Coping with Hope

valentine couple deposit photo Feb 2020

Valentine’s Day, for all its lovely sentiment, is perhaps one of the most divisive holidays of the year.  Everyone can enjoy New Year’s; every American can enjoy President’s Day (thankfully coming up very soon) and Independence Day; we each have a birthday.  But Valentine’s Day is a “holiday for lovers”, and many single people can end … Read more

Gay Men Conquering Anxiety with… Probability??

edward everett horton

Gay Men Conquering Anxiety:   Think about how you’ve been  feeling lately.  Felt any anxiety? If no, perhaps get another cup of coffee, read another blog, or go back to work.  🙂 But my guess is, yes, you have felt at least some anxiety about something in relatively recent times.  Like maybe this morning. I … Read more

December 21, 2010: Hobbling Around and Taking a Closer Look

I’ve been less active, overall, since recovering from total hip replacement surgery on my right hip on December 6 (the left one was done in April, 2008, so I kind of know the drill). As I hobble around, walking with the aid of a cane for about the next two months while I undergo physical … Read more

December 16, 2010: The HIV ‘Cure’ and Never Say Never

With the news this week that a man has been declared officially “cured” of HIV by way of stem cell therapy (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/14/hiv-cure-berlin-patient_n_796521.html), I was heartened, to say the least. Immediately, my mind went to two things: one was about what this means for the immediate future of HIV eradication research, and how soon could something … Read more

Gay Men’s Career Confidence: Do You Have ‘Professional Self-Esteem’?

What is professional self-esteem? In recent years in my psychotherapy practice, I have noticed a dramatic increase in the demand for more “coaching”-style services, and I have been happy to develop this for my clients. There are personal coaching issues, to be sure, but what I find much more frequently is that clients need professional … Read more

Self-Empowerment for Gay Men and the Three Resources: Time, Energy, Money

Self-empowerment for gay men means managing your resources of time, energy, and money. 

Over the course of my 18 years as a psychotherapist in private practice in West Hollywood, California, I’ve come to utilize a number of phrases that summarize the wisdom of various theorists from Sigmund Freud, the “founder” of psychotherapy, to Louise Hay, an 80’s New Age inspirational author. But, also along the way, I’ve developed a few phrases of my own, “Ken-isms” I like to call them, based on my many observations, that have helped many people in various classic problem situations that I see over and over. Perhaps my favorite concept in treatment is “self-empowerment” (which is the name of my upcoming book, Self-Empowerment: Have the Life You Want!), because I believe in helping people empower themselves to improve their quality of life in various areas, such as your health, mental health, relationships, career, and finances. One of my favorite “Ken-isms” is encouraging my clients to spend their resources of Time, Energy, and Money according to their Values, Priorities, and Goals. What does this mean? Let’s take each one of those six elements:

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Boo! Scary – Conquering Your Fears

I love Halloween.  Maybe it’s because of the theatricality of it, with costumes and props, or maybe it’s because of my addiction to chocolate.  Author Peg Aloi, an expert on Pagan holidays, explains that Halloween, or “Samhain” as it is sometimes called (which means “summer’s end”), is observed as a celebration of the last harvest … Read more

Three Keys for a Successful Gay Life: Something to Do, Love, and Hope For

There is a quote from philosopher Emmanuel Kant that says that we need three things to succeed in life:  “Something to Do, Someone to Love, and Something to Hope For.”  In my psychotherapy practice specializing in therapy and coaching for gay men, when I see truly thriving people, I think these three things are key … Read more

Managing Recession Anxiety: How to Cope with Layoff

gay depressed man

[THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN 2009, DURING THE “GREAT RECESSION”.  HOWEVER, IT IS STILL RELEVANT TODAY FOR ANYONE REGARDING THE TOPIC OF LAYOFF OR JOB LOSS, OR EVEN WORK SLOWDOWN DURING ANY ECONOMICALLY-STRESSED TIME.] While the current economic recession* (2009) may spare many of us as gay men, who are often considered an “affluent” segment … Read more