A Career Coach’s 9 Tips for How to Make More Money

One of the biggest questions that guys have about their careers is how to make more money.  Women wonder this, too, but my psychotherapy and coaching practice focuses on men (gay and straight) and I know more about those dynamics.  Even though there is certainly a social injustice about men, in general, getting paid more … Read more

Why No One Starts Therapy in December — And Why You Should

kh pp christmas tree adobe photo

Happy December!  How are those New Year’s Resolutions working out for you? You know, the ones that you had in January, almost a year ago?  Do you remember what they were?  Did you make any?  Did you have goals for this year?  Did you reach those goals? The other day, I reviewed my Goals List … Read more

Powerful Thoughts for Fabulous Living at Every Age for Gay Men

Louise Hay and the Power of Thoughts Lately, I’ve been revisiting the writings of Louise Hay, the New Age spiritual author and speaker whom I’ve followed for a long time now.  She’s 84, and lives a very vibrant life in San Diego.  Her whole message is about loving the self, and using the power of … Read more

Gay Pride 2012: From a Gay Men’s Therapist Perspective

rainbow flag inclusive version update deposit photo June 2021

Happy Pride! Frankly, this year, it couldn’t come soon enough.  In my private practice specializing in gay men’s therapy and life/career coaching for 20 years, I’ve noticed that what happens in the political and social world very often affects the individual mental health and emotional state of my clients. When the Republican primary candidates relentlessly … Read more

Valentine’s Day for Single Gay Men: Coping with Hope

valentine couple deposit photo Feb 2020

Valentine’s Day, for all its lovely sentiment, is perhaps one of the most divisive holidays of the year.  Everyone can enjoy New Year’s; every American can enjoy President’s Day (thankfully coming up very soon) and Independence Day; we each have a birthday.  But Valentine’s Day is a “holiday for lovers”, and many single people can end … Read more

Three Keys for a Successful Gay Life: Something to Do, Love, and Hope For

There is a quote from philosopher Emmanuel Kant that says that we need three things to succeed in life:  “Something to Do, Someone to Love, and Something to Hope For.”  In my psychotherapy practice specializing in therapy and coaching for gay men, when I see truly thriving people, I think these three things are key … Read more

No More ‘Cheating’ Part II: How Gay Men Can Have an Open Relationship Without Hurt Feelings

smiling gay male couple on a beach
gay male couple on beach
Gay men in open relationships need lots of communication.

Part II: Identifying and Implementing Your Options

In my previous article, Part I of this topic, I described how in my work as a psychotherapist specializing in gay men and their relationships, very often I see couples expressing a desire to eliminate “cheating” in a relationship by bravely, candidly, and sensitively discussing their options about how and why either or both partners might desire occasional sex outside the relationship, and how this does not have to be unhealthy or damaging to the relationship. Studies of gay male relationships over the years have explained how it is culturally relatively more acceptable in gay male relationships (more so than in any other kind of human relationship) to have a primary partner but allow sexual play with others.

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