Ken I often like to say my clients when I’m providing career counseling and coaching at my office that I’m “one of those obnoxious people who has his dream career.” You know the type: they are happy, contented people who seem to be doing what they love, making a good living, and just all-around having a … Read more
In my private practice of psychotherapy and coaching, I enjoy working with gay men (and others) of all ages. While I see many guys at midlife (especially for relationship or career issues), I also work with younger gay men (also for relationship and career issues!). I admire the young guys I see, and their outlook … Read more
Gay men can be early-adopters of technology. Maybe we just have more money for gadgets because, in general, we’re not sweating having to save for the kids’ college fund. We tend to accumulate electronic toys — and on those toys, social media apps: Facebook. Twitter. LinkedIn. Instagram. Grindr. Scruff. Jackd. Tindr. Many of them. Social … Read more
You’re outnumbered, again, but maybe not as much as you think. Estimates put introverts at between 25% to 33% of the population. If it feels like almost everyone but you is an extrovert, that’s probably because extroverts are just so obvious, and a lot of introverts are trying to be extroverts to fit in. … Read more
In the sport of hockey, somehow it became acceptable — even preferred — for its players to not only skate around on ice and toss a puck around, soccer-style, with sticks, but also occasionally to break out in fights. You always know when one is about to happen. Somebody does or says something to piss … Read more
[This is from 2014, so some of the references are outdated like the evolution of marriage equality laws. We’ve come a long way!] What an amazing turn of events for marriage equality in a relatively short time this year! For a terribly long time, gay couples have pleaded, waited, marched, lobbied, and battled for the … Read more
As gay men, we all feel it from time to time. We go to a theme park and see the seemingly benevolent young father (OK, a “DILF“). We see the interaction between father and son, or father and daughter, and there is a pang in your heart in recognizing the fact that he has something … Read more
One of the most common topics I help guys with in my psychotherapy and coaching practice (now 22 years) is about improving self-esteem. It makes sense; gay men get a lot of “negative messages” growing up and, cumulatively, they take their toll. Usually in addition to whatever else we are working on (career, finances, relationship … Read more
Recently, some clients in my psychotherapy practice, which for 27 years has focused on the mental health and well-being of adult gay men, have been discussing the role and value of a “fuck buddy” in their lives. While all sexual topics (even in our “modern” age) seem to come fraught with controversy these days (and … Read more
When it’s good, it’s very, very good. You’re relaxed. Sounds and sights are more vivid. Everything is a bit funny. Time loses its tyranny. Man, this feeling is great! Well, okay, there’s the clumsiness, hunger and thirst, and distorted senses, but at first, and maybe (for some people) for a very long time, the pluses … Read more
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is a life/career/executive/relationship coach who has specialized in gay men (individuals and gay male couples) and LGBT+ for over 30 years.
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