Gay Men and Depression: Finding Relief without Medications

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As a gay therapist in Los Angeles for the past 27 years, I have found that Depression is the single most-common diagnosis and presenting problem.  This is true for most therapists, from what I hear from colleagues and from my students that I teach in the advanced psychotherapy course at USC. According to many studies, … Read more

How Gay Men Use Therapy and Coaching to Make More Money

Dollarphotoclub man with money

One of the most persistent themes in counseling and coaching sessions in my over-25 years in practice, specializing in therapy and coaching for gay men and gay male couples, has been guys wanting to move up in their careers, expand their self-employed business, and earn more money.  It’s just one of the factors – along … Read more

“Allied Down the Aisle”: A Premarital Counseling Program for Gay Male Couples

kh pp gay male couple in bed

  With marriage equality being achieved in more and more states, many gay male couples are contemplating getting married. This is a serious step in the life of any relationship, and many gay male couples (just like straight ones), face it with apprehension, and anxiety, mixed in with the usual thrill of excitement and profound … Read more

The Top Five Money Mistakes Gay Men Make (and How to Avoid Them)

It’s a slightly awkward topic, but let’s talk about the money mistakes gay men make, and the corresponding solutions for them.  In the privacy of a confidential therapy or coaching session, guys can “let their hair down” and discuss things with me that stress them out, things that they might not want to talk about … Read more

Fear No Leather: BDSM Play for Gay Men Who Are Scared Stiff

man shirtless with riding crop bdsm deposit photo Feb 2021

Fear No Leather:  Benefits of BDSM Play for Gay Men Who Are Scared Stiff (keywords: gay bdsm, leather, rubber, s/m, b/d, kink) Imagine for a moment that you are overhearing someone talking.  They are saying the following: “Ewwww.  I just don’t get those guys.  That’s just weird.  It’s unnatural.  You’ve got to be sick to … Read more

Coming Out: Again and Again

National Coming Out Day 10 11 20

Coming Out: Again and Again Many young gay men, in childhood and early adolescence, as they become aware that they are gay, often build an internal awareness of their gay identity long before it is known to any other human being, including those closest to them such as parents or best friends.  Eventually, this awareness … Read more

Of Bears and Twinks: Weight Loss Issues for Gay Men in Therapy

Gay Men’s Culture As a psychotherapist who has specialized in working with gay men for the past 26 years, I know that part of gay men’s culture is an emphasis on a youthful, lean, muscular physique.  The sentiment is pervasive, and competitive — sometimes good-naturedly, sometimes aggressively and cruelly. Gay men’s culture has identified the … Read more

Shrink at the Movies: Broadway’s Revival of “Pippin” (2013)

Taking a little diversion from my usual shrink’s take on movies, I’m going to share my thoughts on an event that I find incredibly exciting, even though I wasn’t even there — except perhaps in spirit. Last week (Thursday, 4/25) saw the long-anticipated opening on Broadway of the first revival of Stephen Schwartz’s long-running musical … Read more

Help for When You Receive a Positive HIV Test: Why Do You React the Way You Do?

As a licensed psychotherapist in West Hollywood with over 20 years’ experience specializing in working with gay men and people living with HIV, I’ve helped many guys cope in the early days after receiving a positive HIV test.  Often, my new clients have just been to their doctor’s office, visited the AHF mobile testing van, … Read more