When You Know You’re Ugly: A Gay Man’s Guide to Coping with Physical Unattractiveness

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When You Know You’re Ugly: A Gay Man’s Guide to Coping with Physical Unattractiveness     Facing the Reality of Physical Attractiveness As gay men, we are seemingly inundated with ideas, images, and pressures about appearance.  The photos that are used in gay apps like Grindr, Scruff, Tindr, and others.  The images on the covers … Read more

Gay Executive Coaching and The Dark Side of Ambition: Navigating Toxic Competition in the Workplace

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Gay Executive Coaching and The Dark Side of Ambition: Navigating Toxic Competition in the Workplace I primarily serve as a licensed psychotherapist in California who has specialized in working with gay men as individuals or in relationships for over 32 years now in 2025.  I’m also a nationally Certified AASECT Sex Therapist, and retired graduate … Read more

Gay Men and the Lessons from ‘Wicked’

Gay Men and the Lessons from ‘Wicked’ With the current (December, 2024) popularity of the new movie version of the hit Broadway musical, “Wicked,” (by long-understood bisexual composer, Stephen Schwartz), and based on the original novel by (gay author) Gregory McGuire, there are many parallels of that modern-classic story that can apply to gay men. … Read more

Caring for Aging Parents:  Tips for Adult Gay Men

Caring for Aging Parents:  Tips for Adult Gay Men Over my long career (32 years) as a gay men’s specialist therapist, I’ve observed my own aging process, and certainly that of my grandparents, parents, and other relatives and friends.  More recently, my sister and I have had adult caregiver roles remotely for our mother who … Read more

Gay Men and Mixing Your Boyfriend with Your Friends

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As a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist for over 30 years, life/career/relationship/executive coach, and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, I hear about a lot of situations gay men face in the course of a week of client sessions in my full-time psychotherapy and coaching practice with gay men mostly in California but also all over the U.S. … Read more

Gay Men and Life Lessons We Can Learn from Actors

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Gay Men and Life Lessons We Can Learn from Actors As a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and coach in Los Angeles, or, more specifically, West Hollywood, the influence of the television and film entertainment industry is everywhere. Not all, but a good percentage of my clients are somehow affiliated with it. It permeates the air … Read more

Gay Men and Coping with Specific Traumas – PART ONE

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Gay Men and Coping with Specific Traumas – PART ONE Throughout my career as a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist (for 30 years in 2022), I’ve helped a lot of gay men who have been the victims – and survivors – of various kinds of trauma.  I use the terms both “victim” and “survivor” to validate … Read more

Gay Men and Pets: Challenges & Rewards

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Gay Men and Pets: Challenges & Rewards In an earlier article, I wrote about gay men seeking to satisfy their natural paternal instincts, even if they do not have children (that article is here).  I wrote how gay men sometimes see their pets as their “children,” doting on them probably more than straight people do, … Read more

Gay Men and Trauma Recovery: Reclaiming Your Life

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Gay Men and Trauma Recovery: Reclaiming Your Life   What is Trauma? After being a gay men’s specialist therapist for 30 years now (in 2022), I am often humbled by the wonderful opportunity I have to be of service to gay men from so many different backgrounds, of ages, races, ethnicities, even nationalities, and in … Read more

Gay Men and Mismatched Libidos: Navigating Difference

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Gay Men and Mismatched Libidos: Navigating Difference Several times recently in my work in sex therapy for gay men, clients have asked me about what to do if they want more, or less, sex than their partner.  It’s sometimes referred to as “desire discrepancy” or “mismatched libidos,” and it can happen in gay or straight … Read more