Self-Empowerment for Gay Men and the Three Resources: Time, Energy, Money

Self-empowerment for gay men means managing your resources of time, energy, and money. 

Over the course of my 18 years as a psychotherapist in private practice in West Hollywood, California, I’ve come to utilize a number of phrases that summarize the wisdom of various theorists from Sigmund Freud, the “founder” of psychotherapy, to Louise Hay, an 80’s New Age inspirational author. But, also along the way, I’ve developed a few phrases of my own, “Ken-isms” I like to call them, based on my many observations, that have helped many people in various classic problem situations that I see over and over. Perhaps my favorite concept in treatment is “self-empowerment” (which is the name of my upcoming book, Self-Empowerment: Have the Life You Want!), because I believe in helping people empower themselves to improve their quality of life in various areas, such as your health, mental health, relationships, career, and finances. One of my favorite “Ken-isms” is encouraging my clients to spend their resources of Time, Energy, and Money according to their Values, Priorities, and Goals. What does this mean? Let’s take each one of those six elements:

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Managing Recession Anxiety: How to Cope with Layoff

gay depressed man

[THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN 2009, DURING THE “GREAT RECESSION”.  HOWEVER, IT IS STILL RELEVANT TODAY FOR ANYONE REGARDING THE TOPIC OF LAYOFF OR JOB LOSS, OR EVEN WORK SLOWDOWN DURING ANY ECONOMICALLY-STRESSED TIME.] While the current economic recession* (2009) may spare many of us as gay men, who are often considered an “affluent” segment … Read more

Inspiration from Music: Dolly Parton’s “Better Get to Livin'”

In my work as a psychotherapist and life coach, I am always grateful for the many and varied sources of inspiration that come my way.  The latest uplifting piece of material I’ve come across is in music, and in another article, I’ve written about songs that can be inspiring and empowering.  There is a relatively … Read more

Breaking the Ice: Gay Men’s Conversational Skills and How to Use Therapy to Overcome Shyness

istock shaking hands 1

As a psychotherapist in private practice focusing on gay men, I love the diversity I see in my work.  No two clients are alike, except for one issue that I see frequently – which is social anxiety.  Many guys come to me and want help to overcome shyness.  One of the biggest misconceptions that I’ve … Read more

Educated… UB2

[NOTE:  THIS BLOG ARTICLE IS FROM 2005, AND HAS MANY ANTIQUATED IDEAS IN IT, SUCH AS THE TIME BEFORE PREP, TASP, AND U=U.  IF YOU DON’T KNOW THESE ACRONYM TERMS, PLEASE LOOK THEM UP BEFORE READING THIS ARTICLE.  THIS ARTICLE IS INCLUDED HERE ONLY FOR AN HISTORICAL REFERENCE, AND IS ONLY PARTIALLY RELEVANT PRESENTLY.  PART OF BEING EDUCATED…UB2 IS BEING UP TO DATE; THIS ARTICLE IS NOW OBSOLETE, EXCEPT IN ADDRESSING SOME REMAINING STIGMA IN SERO-DISCORDANT (POZ/NEG) DATING, A TOPIC I EXPLORE IN MORE DETAIL IN OTHER ARTICLES.]

Recently I was browsing through online personal ads in various online services for gay men. I was surprised at how often the term “UB2” came up. This is an appreviation for, “You be, too!”, in reference to a negative HIV status. It seems to say, in those succinct three characters,

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