After being in private practice and specializing in therapy and coaching for gay men for over 21 years, I have sometimes seen clients start therapy, and then decide they “can’t afford it” – yet they pay their drug dealer weekly full-price for crystal meth. Or they still pay $15 for a cocktail at the Abbey … Read more
As a gay therapist in Los Angeles for the past 27 years, I have found that Depression is the single most-common diagnosis and presenting problem. This is true for most therapists, from what I hear from colleagues and from my students that I teach in the advanced psychotherapy course at USC. According to many studies, … Read more
One of the most persistent themes in counseling and coaching sessions in my over-25 years in practice, specializing in therapy and coaching for gay men and gay male couples, has been guys wanting to move up in their careers, expand their self-employed business, and earn more money. It’s just one of the factors – along … Read more
It’s a slightly awkward topic, but let’s talk about the money mistakes gay men make, and the corresponding solutions for them. In the privacy of a confidential therapy or coaching session, guys can “let their hair down” and discuss things with me that stress them out, things that they might not want to talk about … Read more
Fear No Leather: Benefits of BDSM Play for Gay Men Who Are Scared Stiff (keywords: gay bdsm, leather, rubber, s/m, b/d, kink) Imagine for a moment that you are overhearing someone talking. They are saying the following: “Ewwww. I just don’t get those guys. That’s just weird. It’s unnatural. You’ve got to be sick to … Read more
On Gay Men and Father’s Day: Frankly, this day (Father’s Day) is a tough day for me. I grew up pretty severely emotionally abused by an angry father who raged at the world in fury, bitterness, resentment, and despair, pretty much every day, at having a gay son — and holding me responsible for … Read more
Gay Men’s Culture As a psychotherapist who has specialized in working with gay men for the past 26 years, I know that part of gay men’s culture is an emphasis on a youthful, lean, muscular physique. The sentiment is pervasive, and competitive — sometimes good-naturedly, sometimes aggressively and cruelly. Gay men’s culture has identified the … Read more
The Clarity Through Contrast Worksheet: Identifying Your Core Values as a Gay Man As a psychotherapist and career/life coach who has specialized working with gay men for over 20 years, much of my work involves helping my clients get what they want in life. But how do you KNOW what you really want? Some of … Read more
How to Accomplish Your Goals: A Guide for Gay Men When approaching a goal or important task ahead of you, especially those that you feel excited about, please try to avoid allowing the thought in your mind, “I don’t think I can do this.” If it’s important to you, use Thought Stopping as a technique … Read more
Gay Men and the Daily Accomplishments List: Tools for Living With the new year, it seems everyone has new plans under way. Students go back to school. Workers go back to a new year of projects on the job. Couples make plans to vacation or socialize more. Everyone wants to implement ways to improve … Read more
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is a life/career/executive/relationship coach who has specialized in gay men (individuals and gay male couples) and LGBT+ for over 30 years.
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