Sounds dire, doesn’t it? Here you are, doing the good, hard work it takes to get clean and sober. But on top of your daily struggle, you’re warned (usually in AA) that you may have four other demons to confront: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. These are the unsettlers that may tempt you to head back … Read more
You’re outnumbered, again, but maybe not as much as you think. Estimates put introverts at between 25% to 33% of the population. If it feels like almost everyone but you is an extrovert, that’s probably because extroverts are just so obvious, and a lot of introverts are trying to be extroverts to fit in. … Read more
[This is from 2014, so some of the references are outdated like the evolution of marriage equality laws. We’ve come a long way!] What an amazing turn of events for marriage equality in a relatively short time this year! For a terribly long time, gay couples have pleaded, waited, marched, lobbied, and battled for the … Read more
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and its less-severe related diagnosis, Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) can be the topic of jokes and even comedy movies. But living with the actual disorder is no joke. OCD is quite burdensome to live with, and it can make the partners of people living with OCD stressed-out, too. People living with OCD … Read more
Depression is the number one mental health problem in the world and gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals are up to twice as likely to suffer from depression as heterosexuals – not because they inferior human beings (contrary to some religious teachings and other oppression), but because the cumulative stress of heterosexism and homophobia in society, … Read more
I’ve been providing relationship coaching and couples therapy for gay men since 1992, and over that time, I’ve noticed some patterns that will help, and hurt, a relationship. Lots of things help, but one that thing than can hurt is complacency. Straight people know all about this; it’s the whole “married-now-let-yourself-go” syndrome — which can … Read more
As I think back on the past 24 years (by 2014) of providing couples counseling for gay male relationships, I sometimes get asked what the differences are that I see (in general) in gay male relationships that are (in general) different from straight relationships. In no particular order, below, are some of my thoughts. I … Read more
Happy December! How are those New Year’s Resolutions working out for you? You know, the ones that you had in January, almost a year ago? Do you remember what they were? Did you make any? Did you have goals for this year? Did you reach those goals? The other day, I reviewed my Goals List … Read more
Louise Hay and the Power of Thoughts Lately, I’ve been revisiting the writings of Louise Hay, the New Age spiritual author and speaker whom I’ve followed for a long time now. She’s 84, and lives a very vibrant life in San Diego. Her whole message is about loving the self, and using the power of … Read more
As a gay therapist in Los Angeles for the past 27 years, I have found that Depression is the single most-common diagnosis and presenting problem. This is true for most therapists, from what I hear from colleagues and from my students that I teach in the advanced psychotherapy course at USC. According to many studies, … Read more
