Ken As a psychotherapist who has worked as a specialist in gay men’s and HIV mental health for over 23 years, I have always maintained that HIV/AIDS is more than a medical issue; it’s a psychosocial one as well. As Chair of the LA County HIV Mental Health Task Force for 9 years, we advocated for … Read more
Moving in with your partner is a wonderful rite-of-passage in a relationship. It extends the level of commitment from “boyfriends” to domestic partners, or, now, spouses. I always say that a relationship has to work on four levels: 1) emotionally; 2) physically (including your sex life); 3) domestically (making a home together); and 4) managing … Read more
One of the things that I do in my practice as a specialist in therapy for gay men (27 years), as well as career coaching for gay men, that most other therapists don’t do, is that I provide career and business coaching sessions (in my office, over the phone, or over Skype) for guys who … Read more
Not long ago, one of my clients, “Ryan” (not his real name) gave me permission to talk about one of his experiences in therapy for this blog. He was talking about flirtations. Ryan and his partner have been in a long-term, monogamous relationship for about 6 years. But truth be told, even though they only … Read more
Gay men making real life changes goes beyond making new year’s resolutions. While “resolutions” are a bit a of cliche, where for many of us, the motivated and desired changes you make January 1 fade by the time February comes, making necessary changes is a hard process, even when we realize it’s important to make … Read more
A therapist’s office (similar to a physician’s or lawyer’s office) is a place to talk about things that would be difficult to talk about almost anywhere else except behind closed doors at home. This is why psychotherapy has a long tradition of strict confidentiality: what’s said in therapy, stays in therapy, with the exception of … Read more
Would you like to earn more money, work in the field you want, and make steady progress until you’re at the height of your chosen career field? Most gay men (and, indeed, most people) that I know would say “yes” to all of those. However, only some will achieve that. In general, gay men deal … Read more
When you wear extra layers of clothing, even when it’s not really part of the look you’re going for, or to keep warm; or when you stand to the back of every group photo; or when you avoid the gym, the pool, the beach, the hiking trail, or anywhere where you might wear less clothing; … Read more
Gay Men’s Spirituality: Reclaiming Your Rights God bless you. Namaste. Blessed Be. Salaam. Assalamu Alaykum. Shalom. Those are the good words. Hate the sinner. Death to infidels. Unnatural. “Gay lifestyle”. Adam and Eve, not Steve. God hates f*gs. Those are the bad words. Religion, historically and presently, has been tough on gay men, with their … Read more
Sounds dire, doesn’t it? Here you are, doing the good, hard work it takes to get clean and sober. But on top of your daily struggle, you’re warned (usually in AA) that you may have four other demons to confront: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. These are the unsettlers that may tempt you to head back … Read more
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is a life/career/executive/relationship coach who has specialized in gay men (individuals and gay male couples) and LGBT+ for over 30 years.
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