As a psychotherapist who has worked as a specialist in gay men’s and HIV mental health for over 23 years, I have always maintained that HIV/AIDS is more than a medical issue; it’s a psychosocial one as well. As Chair of the LA County HIV Mental Health Task Force for 9 years, we advocated for … Read more
Gay men making real life changes goes beyond making new year’s resolutions. While “resolutions” are a bit a of cliche, where for many of us, the motivated and desired changes you make January 1 fade by the time February comes, making necessary changes is a hard process, even when we realize it’s important to make … Read more
Would you like to earn more money, work in the field you want, and make steady progress until you’re at the height of your chosen career field? Most gay men (and, indeed, most people) that I know would say “yes” to all of those. However, only some will achieve that. In general, gay men deal … Read more
When you wear extra layers of clothing, even when it’s not really part of the look you’re going for, or to keep warm; or when you stand to the back of every group photo; or when you avoid the gym, the pool, the beach, the hiking trail, or anywhere where you might wear less clothing; … Read more
Sounds dire, doesn’t it? Here you are, doing the good, hard work it takes to get clean and sober. But on top of your daily struggle, you’re warned (usually in AA) that you may have four other demons to confront: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. These are the unsettlers that may tempt you to head back … Read more
In my private practice of psychotherapy and coaching, I enjoy working with gay men (and others) of all ages. While I see many guys at midlife (especially for relationship or career issues), I also work with younger gay men (also for relationship and career issues!). I admire the young guys I see, and their outlook … Read more
Gay men can be early-adopters of technology. Maybe we just have more money for gadgets because, in general, we’re not sweating having to save for the kids’ college fund. We tend to accumulate electronic toys — and on those toys, social media apps: Facebook. Twitter. LinkedIn. Instagram. Grindr. Scruff. Jackd. Tindr. Many of them. Social … Read more
You’re outnumbered, again, but maybe not as much as you think. Estimates put introverts at between 25% to 33% of the population. If it feels like almost everyone but you is an extrovert, that’s probably because extroverts are just so obvious, and a lot of introverts are trying to be extroverts to fit in. … Read more
As gay men, we all feel it from time to time. We go to a theme park and see the seemingly benevolent young father (OK, a “DILF“). We see the interaction between father and son, or father and daughter, and there is a pang in your heart in recognizing the fact that he has something … Read more
One of the most common topics I help guys with in my psychotherapy and coaching practice (now 22 years) is about improving self-esteem. It makes sense; gay men get a lot of “negative messages” growing up and, cumulatively, they take their toll. Usually in addition to whatever else we are working on (career, finances, relationship … Read more
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is a life/career/executive/relationship coach who has specialized in gay men (individuals and gay male couples) and LGBT+ for over 30 years.
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