Gay Men and New Year, New Sex: Mind, Heart, Body

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Gay Men and New Year, New Sex: Mind, Heart, Body   Happy New Year!  As I start my 31st year as a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, life/career/relationship coach, and AASECT-Certified sex therapist, I challenge myself to think of expansive, new ideas.  The new year, for all of us, is like a blank piece of paper … Read more

Gay Men and Mismatched Libidos: Navigating Difference

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Gay Men and Mismatched Libidos: Navigating Difference Several times recently in my work in sex therapy for gay men, clients have asked me about what to do if they want more, or less, sex than their partner.  It’s sometimes referred to as “desire discrepancy” or “mismatched libidos,” and it can happen in gay or straight … Read more

Gay Men Coping with ED:  The Emotional, Physical, and Interpersonal

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Gay Men Coping with ED:  The Emotional, Physical, and Interpersonal I have had the pleasure lately of many gay men seeking out sex therapy or life coaching services who are seeking to improve their quality of life via improving the quality of their sex life.  And they improve the quality of their sex life by … Read more

Healthy Relationships Don’t Do That: A Guide for Gay Men’s Dating and More

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As a gay men’s specialist therapist for over 29 years (in 2021), I’ve always enjoyed being active on social media and interacting with my therapist colleagues there.  Recently I saw a great post from my local Los Angeles colleague on Instagram, Armine Asatryan, MA, LMFT, who is a specialist in anxiety and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.  She … Read more

Improving Gay Men’s Relationships: Meeting Three Needs: Emotional, Sexual, Interpersonal

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In a previous article (here), I cautioned single gay men about their dating skills and avoiding the all-too-often seen pitfalls of putting the emphasis in dating on the wrong things, such as Cash, Connections, and C—k.  As someone in a 19-year gay relationship with my partner/husband, I always say to clients that the things that … Read more

Three Ways to Improve Your Sex Life for Gay Men

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  In my daily work with clients as a gay men’s specialist therapist for 29 years in 2021, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, as well as an LGBT-affirmative, gay men’s specialist coach, author, speaker, and consultant, one of the most frequent questions I get is how to help gay male couples improve their sex lives. It’s … Read more

How to Avoid a Gay Relationship Breakup – The Four Risks

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How to Avoid a Gay Relationship Breakup – The Four Risks As a psychotherapist specializing in gay men and gay male couples therapy for over 28 years, I’ve worked with so many different kinds of ages, nationalities, ethnicities, and backgrounds. You could say I’ve made a study of it, and I teach a course on couples … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

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In my long (29 years in 2021) career as a specialist in therapy for gay men and gay men’s coaching, I’ve helped guys in many different kinds of relationship styles.  Along with these styles comes a commensurate “vocabulary” that gay men use to describe and understand their relationships and the people involved in them.  It’s … Read more

Gay Men and Discipline: The Secret Weapon for Achieving Your Goals

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Gay Men and Discipline: The Secret Weapon for Achieving Your Goals I’d like to start this article about “discipline” by admitting that I’ve been procrastinating writing it.  Which shows exactly why it needs to be written.  How many of you have done the same? You think about doing something.  You know it would be valuable … Read more

Gay Men’s Mental Health During COVID-19:  Next to Normal

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Mental Health During COVID-19: Next to Normal Those who know me well know that I have a life-long obsession with Broadway musicals, recently having completed writing the book, music, and lyrics for a musical of my own, “On the Boulevard,” which takes place in my own very home of West Hollywood, California, a modern re-telling … Read more