Beyond New Year’s Resolutions: Gay Men Making Real Life Changes

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Gay men making real life changes goes beyond making new year’s resolutions.  While “resolutions” are a bit a of cliche, where for many of us, the motivated and desired changes you make January 1 fade by the time February comes, making necessary changes is a hard process, even when we realize it’s important to make … Read more

Three’s Company: The Right Way and the Wrong Way to Have a Gay Men’s Three-Way

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A therapist’s office (similar to a physician’s or lawyer’s office) is a place to talk about things that would be difficult to talk about almost anywhere else except behind closed doors at home.  This is why psychotherapy has a long tradition of strict confidentiality:  what’s said in therapy, stays in therapy, with the exception of … Read more

Mastermind Groups for Gay Men: How to Take Your Career Higher

Would you like to earn more money, work in the field you want, and make steady progress until you’re at the height of your chosen career field? Most gay men (and, indeed, most people) that I know would say “yes” to all of those.  However, only some will achieve that.  In general, gay men deal … Read more

Gay Men and Body Image Struggles: Waiting for the Adonis in the Mirror

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When you wear extra layers of clothing, even when it’s not really part of the look you’re going for, or to keep warm; or when you stand to the back of every group photo; or when you avoid the gym, the pool, the beach, the hiking trail, or anywhere where you might wear less clothing; … Read more

Gay Men’s Spirituality: Reclaiming Rights

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Gay Men’s Spirituality: Reclaiming Your Rights God bless you.  Namaste.  Blessed Be.  Salaam.  Assalamu Alaykum.  Shalom.  Those are the good words. Hate the sinner.  Death to infidels.  Unnatural.  “Gay lifestyle”.  Adam and Eve, not Steve.  God hates f*gs.  Those are the bad words.  Religion, historically and presently, has been tough on gay men, with their … Read more

Gay Men in Recovery: 4 Tips to Cope with HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired)

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Sounds dire, doesn’t it? Here you are, doing the good, hard work it takes to get clean and sober.  But on top of your daily struggle, you’re warned (usually in AA) that you may have four other demons to confront: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. These are the unsettlers that may tempt you to head back … Read more

How to Establish and Sustain Your Dream Career: A Guide for Gay Men

I often like to say my clients when I’m providing career counseling and coaching at my office that I’m “one of those obnoxious people who has his dream career.”  You know the type: they are happy, contented people who seem to be doing what they love, making a good living, and just all-around having a … Read more

An Older Gay Therapist’s Advice for Younger Gay Men: 12 Tips to Improve Your Life — Now and Later

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In my private practice of psychotherapy and coaching, I enjoy working with gay men (and others) of all ages.  While I see many guys at midlife (especially for relationship or career issues), I also work with younger gay men (also for relationship and career issues!).  I admire the young guys I see, and their outlook … Read more

Gay Men and Social Media: How to Avoid Overwhelm, Jealousy, Mistrust, and Stress

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Gay men can be early-adopters of technology.  Maybe we just have more money for gadgets because, in general, we’re not sweating having to save for the kids’ college fund.  We tend to accumulate electronic toys — and on those toys, social media apps: Facebook.  Twitter.  LinkedIn.  Instagram.  Grindr.  Scruff.  Jackd.  Tindr.  Many of them.  Social … Read more

Life as a Gay Male Introvert: 5 Tips to Help You Cope

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  You’re outnumbered, again, but maybe not as much as you think. Estimates put introverts at between 25% to 33% of the population. If it feels like almost everyone but you is an extrovert, that’s probably because extroverts are just so obvious, and a lot of introverts are trying to be extroverts to fit in. … Read more