A man in his late forties sits across from me during an intake session. From the outside, his life looks solid. He has a successful career, a comfortable home, long-standing friendships, and the kind of stability that took years to build. Many people would assume he had “figured things out.” Yet the reason he scheduled … Read more
Living Inside a Prolonged Stress Climate Many of the gay male therapy or coaching clients I speak with lately struggle to name exactly what feels wrong these days, but something does. They are not reacting to a single crisis, nor are they necessarily experiencing acute panic or depression. Instead, there is a more pervasive sense … Read more
What actually helps—beyond pills, injections, and panic Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, is a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist with over 30 years of experience working with gay men, couples, and polycules. He provides psychotherapy to California residents and coaching to gay men worldwide, focusing on mental health, sexual confidence, performance anxiety, aging, … Read more
GayCoachingLA Coaching for gay men navigating visibility, desire, power, and next-stage life decisions There are moments when a piece of culture doesn’t just entertain—it destabilizes something you thought you had already sorted out. The sudden, viral success of Heated Rivalry is one of those moments. For many gay men, especially those who’ve lived long enough … Read more
As a psychotherapist and coach specializing in gay men for over 33 years — working with literally thousands of clients — I’ve had a unique vantage point on the patterns that emerge in our lives and our community. Again and again, I’ve noticed that many of our struggles cluster around what I call “toxic gay … Read more
By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Ken@GayTherapyLA.com | 310-339-5778 “If It’s Hysterical, It’s Historical” There’s a phrase that gets thrown around in recovery circles: “If it’s hysterical, it’s historical.” Meaning, if your emotional reaction feels out of proportion to the moment, you might be reacting to something much older, deeper, and unresolved. For … Read more
There are times in my psychotherapy practice with gay men (individuals and couples) when I’m working with an individual, and the subject of the client’s partner comes up, and how the partner feels about his partner (my client) being in therapy. The apparent reactions (well, at least according to my client’s reports of them) are … Read more
[A friend of mine who has experience in bar/club promotion was talking to me at an Oscar party and was waxing philosophical about a variety of issues in the gay community. We are both middle-aged, and he was musing about when “enough is enough” for gay men in participating in the bar/club/party scene. He told … Read more
Gay men in crisis are usually experiencing an event that is outside your everyday routine, and it requires a special response. It involves a rallying of what I call “internal resources” — such as calm, focus, determination, courage, and persistence, as well as outside resources, which could include things like emergency medical help, psychiatric emergency … Read more
