On Gay Men’s Birthdays, Self-Esteem, and the Meaning of Life

How many times in a year do I hear that there are people who “hate birthdays”?  Far too many.  For these people, any recognition of a birthday is somehow a validation of their fears of aging, or a reminder that they are “just getting older.”  What can I say about this, as a sophisticated licensed … Read more

September 11, 2010: Remembering 9/11/01 from a Gay Man’s Perspective

Imagine, just for a moment:  A group of people, motivated by an extreme devotion to their religion, ban together and begin to plan action that expresses their rage against those whom they disagree with on religious, cultural, and social grounds.  They carefully plot a strategy to act out that rage, carefully, systematically, secretly, and determinedly.  … Read more

September 3, 2010: When You Can’t Even Do Suicide Right

The story of the week, for me, was the tale that included equal parts amazement and poignancy:  the report that 22-year-old actor Thomas Magill, of New York City, jumped off the 39th floor of his West End Avenue apartment after leaving a note on his Facebook Bio page that said, “I’m over it”, and listed his … Read more

August 22, 2010: Bad News Calls for Resiliency, Resolve, and Revolution

Looking at the news over the past couple of weeks from a gay men’s mental health point of view leaves quite a bit to be desired. In my last post, I was talking about how the overturn of Prop 8 is a collective mental health booster for the entire lesbian and gay community. Conversely, the … Read more

August 8, 2010: The Overturn of Prop 8: A Gay Men’s Mental Health Booster

The overturn of Proposition 8 in California last week by federal judge Vaughn Walker was indeed good news. Not only did it overturn one of meanest-spirited pieces of legislation in modern history, Walker’s 136-page ruling made a number of eloquent and cogent points. He challenged the heterosexist assumption that all or any heterosexual relationship is … Read more

August 1, 2010: Lindsay Lohan and Guuurl, What NOT to Do!

My take on the whole recent Lindsay Lohan story reminds me of a thing that I work with my clients on sometimes. As much as I believe in positive role-modeling of behavior, there is such a thing as the opposite — negative behavioral role-modeling, or what NOT to do. This can actually be very useful; … Read more

July 4, 2010: Independence Day

As we celebrate the summer and the Fourth of July — Independence Day — let’s consider the meaning of that word, “independence.” Historically, this means celebrating America’s birth as a nation. But we can celebrate our INDIVIDUAL independence by declaring ourselves free of something we no longer want in our lives. What burdens you? What … Read more

April 17, 2010: The Census and Gay Men’s Mental Health

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My very close friends will sometimes tease me that in ordinary conversation, I can switch topics abruptly, or I can link seemingly very different things. Such is the case with my thoughts on the current United States 2010 Census effort, and gay men’s mental health.  How are the Census and gay men’s mental health even … Read more

November 13, 2009: To Love a Stranger/To Lose a Friend

This past month or so, I have experienced my own profound emotions. Usually, my work is about OTHERS’ profound emotions, and my helping them to interpret them, but since this Blog is a place where I occasionally indulge my own expressions of feelings in the service of helping others, I’ll share mine. Thematically, it’s about … Read more

Celebrity Deaths and What They Mean for the Rest of Us

OK; I suppose I should say something about the recent deaths of three American iconic figures: Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson. From a mental health point of view, or even a “life management” point of view, obviously Michael Jackson stands out, and a therapist could write for eons about those issues for analysis. … Read more