Even after we’ve built stable lives — careers, homes, long-term relationships — many gay men in mid-life still find ourselves opening Grindr, Scruff, or Recon. Sometimes it’s curiosity. Sometimes it’s libido. Sometimes it’s something harder to name. We might tell ourselves we’re “just seeing who’s around,” but underneath, the question lingers: Why am I still … Read more
I’ve been a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist for over 33 years in 2025, and I identify as a psychotherapist, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, life/career/relationship Coach, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, activist, author, and educator. But in all those, I’ve been a Psychiatric Social Worker, and that means my training and experience have given me the credentials … Read more
I love Halloween. Maybe it’s because of the theatricality of it, with costumes and props, or maybe it’s because of my addiction to chocolate. Author Peg Aloi, an expert on Pagan holidays, explains that Halloween—or Samhain, as it’s sometimes called, meaning “summer’s end”—is observed as a celebration of the last harvest of the year before … Read more
It’s one of those tongue-in-cheek jokes that circulates in gay male culture: “The Navy is the gayest branch of the military, the Air Force is for pretty boys, and all Marines are gay bottoms.” Of course, these aren’t literally true — they’re camp exaggerations, part humor and part fantasy. But like so many gay jokes, … Read more
By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Ken@GayTherapyLA.com | 310-339-5778 “If It’s Hysterical, It’s Historical” There’s a phrase that gets thrown around in recovery circles: “If it’s hysterical, it’s historical.” Meaning, if your emotional reaction feels out of proportion to the moment, you might be reacting to something much older, deeper, and unresolved. For … Read more
Gay Widowers: Navigating Loss, Identity, and Rebirth By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Ken@GayTherapyLA.com | 310-339-5778 My name is Ken Howard, and I’ve been a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and coach for over 33 years. I’ve been living with HIV/AIDS myself for 35 years, and like so many gay men of my generation, … Read more
Gay Men and Overcoming Our Unconscious Barriers to Success By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST In so much of my work with clients, we are battling a whole list of what I call “unconscious barriers” to our own progress and success. We have inner conflicts that make us take two steps forward but then one step … Read more
Gay Men and Understanding Personality: The OCEAN Model By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST – Founder, GayTherapyLA.com Understanding what makes us who we are can deepen our relationships and improve how we connect with others. For gay men, this kind of self-knowledge can be especially powerful. It helps us navigate romantic relationships, family ties, friendships, and … Read more
Gay Men and Coping with the Forms of Betrayal By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Call/Text: 310-339-5778 | Email: Ken@GayTherapyLA.com Introduction: What Is Betrayal? Betrayal is the violation of a person’s trust, often involving the breaking of implicit or explicit expectations in a close relationship. Psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., defines betrayal as … Read more
Positive Masculinity: Redefining Strength for Gay Men By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST Founder, GayTherapyLA.com It feels like everyone’s talking about masculinity right now—what it is, what it isn’t, and who gets to define it. For gay men, this isn’t just a cultural conversation. It’s personal. Too often, we’ve been told we’re not “real men.” But … Read more
