GayCoachingLA Coaching for gay men navigating visibility, desire, power, and next-stage life decisions There are moments when a piece of culture doesn’t just entertain—it destabilizes something you thought you had already sorted out. The sudden, viral success of Heated Rivalry is one of those moments. For many gay men, especially those who’ve lived long enough … Read more
A developmental view—from good student to elder authority, and why the path often looks different for us When psychologists talk about human development, they don’t just mean childhood. Instead, they are referring to lifespan development: the way identity, purpose, intimacy, competence, and meaning evolve from youth through old age. The work of Erik Erikson, Harry … Read more
When we hear the word wealth, most people jump to external metrics: money, net worth, assets, square footage, or investment accounts. For gay men — who often grow up trying to “prove ourselves” to families, schools, workplaces, and society — the cultural pressure to demonstrate success through financial status can feel especially strong. Over 32 … Read more
For so many gay men, compulsive phone use has become a quiet, constant companion. Scrolling, checking, refreshing, comparing — not just on social media but on dating apps, hookup apps, fitness feeds, curated vacation pages, and lifestyle reels. It’s nearly universal, understandable, and expected. And yet, behind the glow of the screen, something deeper is being managed: … Read more
Most gay men have heard of “fight or flight.” Some know about “freeze.” But there’s a fourth trauma response that deserves more attention in gay men’s mental health — the fawn response. If you’ve ever found yourself overly accommodating, chronically apologizing, or bending over backwards not to upset anyone — especially men you’re dating, partnered … Read more
“Because happy is what happens when all your dreams come true…” That line from Wicked’s Act II number, “Thank Goodness,” always carries an irony that cuts deep: happiness is supposed to arrive when dreams are fulfilled — but what happens when the world changes so much that the dreams themselves are denied? As the upcoming … Read more
Gay Men and Trauma Recovery: Reclaiming Your Life What is Trauma? After being a gay men’s specialist therapist for 30 years now (in 2022), I am often humbled by the wonderful opportunity I have to be of service to gay men from so many different backgrounds, of ages, races, ethnicities, even nationalities, and in … Read more
Gay Men, Pride Season, and Summer Lovin’ Summer lovin’ Had me a blast, Summer lovin’ Happened so fast, I met a [girl] crazy for me Met a boy, cute as can be! Source: Musixmatch Songwriters: Jim Jacobs / Warren Casey Summer Nights lyrics © Edwin H. Morris & Co. … Read more
