In the timeless tale of Cinderella, a neglected girl is transformed—through magic, resilience, and the help of a mentor—into someone who is seen, valued, and desired. While this fairy tale has enchanted generations, its deeper themes resonate powerfully with many gay men: those whose early lives were marked by invisibility, shame, or bullying, and a … Read more
By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Ken@GayTherapyLA.com | 310-339-5778 “If It’s Hysterical, It’s Historical” There’s a phrase that gets thrown around in recovery circles: “If it’s hysterical, it’s historical.” Meaning, if your emotional reaction feels out of proportion to the moment, you might be reacting to something much older, deeper, and unresolved. For … Read more
Gay Men and Overcoming Our Unconscious Barriers to Success By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST In so much of my work with clients, we are battling a whole list of what I call “unconscious barriers” to our own progress and success. We have inner conflicts that make us take two steps forward but then one step … Read more
Gay Men and Understanding Personality: The OCEAN Model By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST – Founder, GayTherapyLA.com Understanding what makes us who we are can deepen our relationships and improve how we connect with others. For gay men, this kind of self-knowledge can be especially powerful. It helps us navigate romantic relationships, family ties, friendships, and … Read more
Gay Men and Coping with the Forms of Betrayal By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Call/Text: 310-339-5778 | Email: Ken@GayTherapyLA.com Introduction: What Is Betrayal? Betrayal is the violation of a person’s trust, often involving the breaking of implicit or explicit expectations in a close relationship. Psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., defines betrayal as … Read more
Positive Masculinity: Redefining Strength for Gay Men By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST Founder, GayTherapyLA.com It feels like everyone’s talking about masculinity right now—what it is, what it isn’t, and who gets to define it. For gay men, this isn’t just a cultural conversation. It’s personal. Too often, we’ve been told we’re not “real men.” But … Read more
The Success Principles for Gay Men: What We Can Learn from Jack Canfield By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST As a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, certified sex therapist, and coach for over three decades, I’ve worked with thousands of gay men on building not just healthier relationships and sex lives, but stronger careers, relationships, financial security, … Read more
The Healthcare Hustle: What Gay Men Need to Know Dealing with the healthcare system is rarely a walk in the park. But for gay men, the process comes with its own set of hurdles—clinical, financial, cultural, and emotional. Some of these barriers are subtle, some are glaring, and most are frustratingly persistent. As a longtime … Read more
Gay Relationships and Legal Planning: Emotional Aspects of Wills, Trusts, Power of Attorney Having been a specialist therapist for gay men for over 32 years in 2025, I’ve seen individuals and couples (and adult gay men in polyamory) in all kinds of life situations. Primarily, I’m a psychotherapist helping gay men with the usual … Read more
When You Know You’re Ugly: A Gay Man’s Guide to Coping with Physical Unattractiveness Facing the Reality of Physical Attractiveness As gay men, we are seemingly inundated with ideas, images, and pressures about appearance. The photos that are used in gay apps like Grindr, Scruff, Tindr, and others. The images on the covers … Read more
