Even after we’ve built stable lives — careers, homes, long-term relationships — many gay men in mid-life still find ourselves opening Grindr, Scruff, or Recon. Sometimes it’s curiosity. Sometimes it’s libido. Sometimes it’s something harder to name. We might tell ourselves we’re “just seeing who’s around,” but underneath, the question lingers: Why am I still … Read more
It’s one of those tongue-in-cheek jokes that circulates in gay male culture: “The Navy is the gayest branch of the military, the Air Force is for pretty boys, and all Marines are gay bottoms.” Of course, these aren’t literally true — they’re camp exaggerations, part humor and part fantasy. But like so many gay jokes, … Read more
In the timeless tale of Cinderella, a neglected girl is transformed—through magic, resilience, and the help of a mentor—into someone who is seen, valued, and desired. While this fairy tale has enchanted generations, its deeper themes resonate powerfully with many gay men: those whose early lives were marked by invisibility, shame, or bullying, and a … Read more
Gay Men and Reconciling Your Religious Beliefs with Your Sexuality In my experience as a gay men’s specialist therapist (30 years in 2022) in California, and life/career/relationship coach (nationally and worldwide), I’ve written before about gay men reclaiming their spirituality (that article is here: https://gaycoachingla.com/gay-mens-spirituality-reclaiming-rights/). Someone messaged me on Instagram recently and asked me to … Read more
COVID-19 As a Traumatic Experience At the time of this writing in early June, 2021, my local community of Los Angeles/West Hollywood (California) is gearing up for the broader grand re-opening of California by order of Governor Gavin Newsom on June 15th (according to a Los Angeles Times article of May 21, 2021, here). The new guidelines basically … Read more
Maybe this title is misleading, because maybe, as a gay man who has left a relationship, you don’t want to “deal” with your ex at all. And yet lately, in my therapy and coaching practice as a gay men’s specialist and AASECT-Certified sex therapist, I’ve been helping a lot of guys on the topic of coping … Read more
With a few weeks into the new year, I’ve been talking with a lot of my clients about their goals for 2021. I have often done this with clients at the start of a new year throughout my long career (29 years) as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach, but this year is so very … Read more
I have been a psychotherapist specializing in gay men for over 28 years, and I do this as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in California, as well as providing life/career/relationship coaching to guys outside of California and in other states and other countries around the world, and I’m also a trained sex therapist. But … Read more
Gay Men and Appearance Privilege: What It Is, What To Do About It Imitation and Flattery? Recently, I discovered that a gay men’s specialist therapist in Chicago had posted a string of postings in recent months on Facebook that directly coincided with a string of topics of several of my blog articles and podcast episodes … Read more
[SPOILER ALERT: SOME PLOT POINTS REVEALED] For readers who are unfamiliar with this series, “Shrink at the Movies” is a not-very-consistent string of essays (ponderings, I like to call them) from my point of view as both a licensed psychotherapist in California (Licensed Clinical Social Worker, or LCSW) and as a life-long movie fan. Being … Read more
