What actually helps—beyond pills, injections, and panic Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, is a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist with over 30 years of experience working with gay men, couples, and polycules. He provides psychotherapy to California residents and coaching to gay men worldwide, focusing on mental health, sexual confidence, performance anxiety, aging, … Read more
Even after we’ve built stable lives — careers, homes, long-term relationships — many gay men in mid-life still find ourselves opening Grindr, Scruff, or Recon. Sometimes it’s curiosity. Sometimes it’s libido. Sometimes it’s something harder to name. We might tell ourselves we’re “just seeing who’s around,” but underneath, the question lingers: Why am I still … Read more
It’s one of those tongue-in-cheek jokes that circulates in gay male culture: “The Navy is the gayest branch of the military, the Air Force is for pretty boys, and all Marines are gay bottoms.” Of course, these aren’t literally true — they’re camp exaggerations, part humor and part fantasy. But like so many gay jokes, … Read more
We’ve all heard the phrase “post-nut clarity” — that shift in perception some men describe right after orgasm, where what felt intensely appealing just moments before suddenly seems different, even irrelevant. It’s been a popular meme, but it actually points to some very real psychological and physiological processes that gay men, in particular, can recognize … Read more
By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST | GayTherapyLA.com / GayCoachingLA.com Context, Commerce, and Consequences The concept of “sex addiction” did not arise in a vacuum. In the early 1980s, amid the fear-and-moral-panic atmosphere of the AIDS crisis, sexual behavior (especially gay male sexuality) was widely framed as dangerous or even deadly. Into that climate, Patrick Carnes, … Read more
Radical Erotic Aging: Gay Men, Desire, and the Audacity to Stay Sexy By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Ken@GayTherapyLA.com | 310-339-5778 Let me tell you something I know in my bones: aging as a gay man in this culture is not for the faint of heart. After 33 years of working with thousands … Read more
Gay Men and Coping with the Forms of Betrayal By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST GayTherapyLA.com | GayCoachingLA.com Call/Text: 310-339-5778 | Email: Ken@GayTherapyLA.com Introduction: What Is Betrayal? Betrayal is the violation of a person’s trust, often involving the breaking of implicit or explicit expectations in a close relationship. Psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., defines betrayal as … Read more
White Lotus and Gay Men’s Fantasies: The Taboo That Teases in Pop Culture By Ken Howard, LCSW, CST The recent Season 3 of Max streaming service’s “The White Lotus,” set at a resort in Thailand, has stirred buzz not just for its opulent visuals, biting satire, and ensemble cast, including Parker Posey’s lorazepam-taking “Victora … Read more
Netflix’s “Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story” – Insights from a Gay Therapist and Coach on Healing for Gay Male Survivors of Sexual Trauma As a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, I have spent 32 years working with male survivors of sexual trauma, including those who have faced incest … Read more
Gay Men and the Function/Purpose of Casual Hookups Casual Sex Overview If you pay attention to how gay men have been talked about, in the past and today, there are many “criticisms” that we get; some are kind of true (being capable of being superficial), or, revoltingly, from the current crop of vile Republicans (Marjorie … Read more
